


Without Stumbling As We Walk Into Our Future's Wake

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe, Angst, Disturbing Imagery or Content, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-11
Updated: 2008-02-11
Packaged: 2019-05-31 09:24:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15116495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "Semantics is the difference between what really happened and a kinky fantasy sequence."





	Without Stumbling As We Walk Into Our Future's Wake

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: There is an attempted sexual assault in this story and I wanted to post a warning. This is a big story, so many couplings and plot strands. I am not even sure it makes sense. I wanted to write something like Where The Boys are and this is my effort. Sorry I always make John Hoynes the slimeball...he just plays it so well. The title comes from the Gin Blossoms song, As Long As It Matters.  


* * *

The silver blue Oldsmobile pulled up in front of the Hotel Soleil. Rick Derringer blasted through the open windows for just a moment before the engine cut off. Six girls tumbled out of the car, the driver going back to the trunk. Suitcases came out, carefully placed on the pavement. Many men stopped and asked if they needed help. 

CJ Cregg shook her head. In all, there were 20 suitcases, bags and duffels; they carried them into the hotel on their own. It was the middle of June and it was crowded. They looked around for the familiar faces of their boys but it was a sea of faces. CJ and Donna moved the suitcases out of the way of passerby…there was no need to cause an avalanche.

Josh Lyman jumped out of nowhere and startled the six-foot tall girl.

“Hey there!” he exclaimed.

“Josh!” she threw her arms around him.

It had been a month since they had seen each other. Classes commenced at Columbia University and Barnard College, where they were students, and the friends went their separate ways. Spread throughout the United States, they knew it was only a matter of time before they would be together again.

“How is Westport, Connecticut?” she asked.

“Unchanging; though I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. You look good… mmm, you smell good.”

“Get away from me, you perv.” She slapped his shoulder.

“It is only a matter of time before I have you in my marriage bed Claudia Jean. I assure you.” He replied.

“You couldn’t handle me.”

“I would most certainly get a kick out of trying. Hey Nora.” he kissed her cheek.

“What's happening Josh.”

“Same shit, you know. What's up Bonnie?”

“Joshua. Good to see you.”

“Thanks. You're hotter than you were a month ago. I swear you are.”

“But you're still just as corny.” She replied laughing.

“Can't blame a dude for trying.” He said with a shrug. “Donnatella, did you miss me? C'mere, you.”

Donna smiled shyly as Josh hugged her tight.

“I got your letter but my dad decided to work me like a pack mule while he had me there. I didn’t get a chance to breathe, much less write.”

“I guess I forgive you. You can make it up to me by helping us get checked in.” she said.

“Oh for sure. I just didn’t want you thinking I didn’t care or anything.”

“Yeah Josh, I know.”

“Where are the other misfits?” CJ asked.

“Around here somewhere. This place is getting more crowded every year. Next year we should do one of the vacation spots in New England…more serene. I think we can…” Josh stopped mid sentence, standing there with his mouth agape. Amy Gardner smiled at him, closing his lips with her fingers.

“Close your mouth Josh, before something flies in.”

“I um…I didn’t know you were coming.” He said.

“You did. I told you that I might.”

“Yeah but might and seeing you here is not the same thing. Not at all. You look really good.”

“Thanks.”

“Josh?” Donna tapped his shoulder. “Josh, check in.”

“Huh? Oh, it’s right over there. The kid with the rust colored hair and the ugly tie is running things. Careful, he is bored and not afraid to use it.”

Donna wanted to remind him that he said he would help. It was too late. He already had Amy in a conversation about classes and grades. Donna could see his mind working; trying its best to come up with more witticisms with each passing sentence. Amy seemed amused by his attempt. Donna looked at Nora, rolled her eyes, and headed to the front desk. Despite the crowds and the activity bustling around the lobby, it was practically empty. She smiled at the young man who approached her.

“Welcome to the Hotel Soleil. How can I help you this afternoon?”

“Hey Clifford.” She read his nametag. “I'm here for check-in. We are under Nora Madison.”

He nodded, setting about his work. Donna watched as he did it. He looked to be her age, maybe a little older. She just finished her freshman year at Barnard…he was probably a junior somewhere. Maybe he wasn’t even in college; not everyone was afforded the privilege. Cliff pulled a card from the file and read it.

“Oh wait, that’s not your card. Gee, I'm sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s alright. Take your time Clifford…its crazy here today.”

“Welcome to the summer in Fort Lauderdale.” He said smiling. “Is this your first time?”

“Yeah.” Donna nodded, matching his smile.

“Unfortunately, it is not mine. Give me just a few moments and everything will be ready. Wendy was here this morning and her organizational skills are truly not up to par. Oh, and most people just call me Cliff.”

“OK.” 

***

“So, what's been happening with you?”

Toby Ziegler had finally made it over to the group. He did manage to say hello to Bonnie before Larry ambled over for some bullshit topical conversation. He wondered if those two would ever get it right. If they didn’t it would truly be Larry’s loss. There was also a girl with them that Toby had only seen a few times in the past year. He did not remember her name but there was time for introductions later.

“Are you talking to me?” CJ asked.

“Um yeah.”

“What the hell kind of question is that? We must have written back and forth to each other about 10 times in the past month. You know what's happening with me. Why are you asking me that?”

“Because you are probably my best friend in the whole world.” He said.

“Really? That is probably the sweetest thing you have ever said Tobus. As such, I am telling you that you need to be talking to someone else. Someone I am sure didn’t get a single letter from Brooklyn.”

“She is talking to the bellboy.” Toby observed.

“Oh my God, I am going to snatch you bald. It will not take long.”

“Cute.” Toby muttered, running his hand over the top of his thinning black curls. He was probably losing more of them just standing there. Another issue for another day. “What the hell do you want me to do? We had two of the worst dates over the course of human events…it is not meant to be. The fact that I tried again after the first time is saying something.”

“Don't flatter yourself. Try again; I didn’t know the word quitter was in your lexicon.”

“Well it is. Even if it weren’t, the word ‘realist’ is. I can never say or do the right thing and while I hardly believe in them, I think that’s a sign.”

“Whatever.” CJ shook her head. “As for the second date, it is not Nora’s fault she had an allergic reaction to something she ate. That requires a do-over.”

“I think I am going to leave well enough alone.” Toby concluded. “Why are you so into it anyway? You running bets?”

“I don’t want to end up married to you.”

“Why not?” Toby asked. “It wouldn’t be horrific; I don’t think it would be.”

“We would probably end up hating each other and I could not bear that. You know it would not work. If you're with someone perfect, like Nora, I would never have to worry about you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“That’s debatable. Look…hey, what is he doing here?”

“Who?”

“John Hoynes?”

“I don’t know, but I wish he would go back to where he came from. I am sure Cerberus could use help gnawing legs of the damned in the seventh circle of hell.”

“That’s mean.” CJ said chuckling. “Funny, but mean. I am going to say hello.”

“I wish you wouldn’t. I do not like the way he looks at you. He…”

“Hi Toby.”

“Oh, hi Nora.”

CJ seized the opportunity to get away. She did not mind leaving her two best friends standing there awkwardly. It was the least she could do as the reluctant but chosen Cupid in this situation.

“It’s nice to see you.” She said. “I tried but did not have a chance to say goodbye at the end of the semester.”

“Yeah, it’s alright. I tried too.” He had not, but he thought about it. Toby thought about it so much, when he looked up it was too late. “Your hair looks nice.”

“Thanks. I was going for the Kelly look…you know, Charlie’s Angels.”

“You're prettier than she is.” he said.

“That was nice of you to say.”

“It’s true. Look Nora, I've been thinking and…”

“Nora! Hey Nora!”

Toby almost sighed relief. Saved by Donna Moss. With a nervous smile, he stepped aside so Nora could walk by. She looked as if she wanted to say something more, a lot more, but it was fruitless. As she passed, her hand grazed Toby’s and he could not stop the cells inside of him from coming alive. If they had that kind of chemistry, why couldn’t it work? Oh hell, he was a man and she a woman…of course, they had chemistry. Sam tapped Toby on the back.

“The room is ready.” He said.

“Good, cuz the lobby is getting old.”

“Hey Sam.” Josh called him over. “You remember Amy, right?”

“Yeah, hey. Hey Bonnie.” He raised his hand to wave.

“How did you do in Fitzwallace’s class?” Bonnie asked.

“An A. I was happy because the final kept me up for two days studying.”

“Believe me, I know. Sam, I don't think you know Tish McTiernan. She’s a freshman.”

“And a poli sci major.” Amy chimed in.

“Yeah?” Sam stretched out his hand to shake hers. “Are you interested in politics or policy?”

“Only in theory. I am a photographer…well I hope to be someday.”

She smiled and Sam thought she was beautiful. He had a string of bad relationships that year after breaking up with his longtime girlfriend Lisa. He thought that she was the one. She wasn’t, and he had no idea what was next. It was probably better to step away before he said something dumb. Because he always said something dumb around girls. It never failed.

“I gotta go and um…the bags…”

“OK.” Tish nodded. “We’re right next door so I will see you around.”

“Cool.” His topaz blue eyes lit up.

“C'mon Robin,” Toby put Sam in a light headlock and started pulling him away. “You too Casanova. You can shamelessly flirt with Amy some other time. Let’s go Larry.”

“Shut up dude.” Josh said through clenched teeth. He turned back to Amy, who still wore an amused smile. “So, we’ll get a drink tonight?”

“Sure. I’ll probably start drinking in the next few minutes so I shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

“Cool. See ya.”

***

“I hate her.” Donna mumbled.

“You didn’t hate her ten minutes ago.” Nora said.

“I did, just for different reasons.”

“Don’t let Josh do that to you Donna. Jesus, is this enough paperwork?”

“Just one more and you're done. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Hey man, you just work here. We…don’t I know you?”

“Yes.” Cliff replied. “Jack Madison is your father, right?”

“Yeah.” Nora put her guard up. She definitely did not like people who namedropped. The Madisons were quite wealthy; she was always beating away the hangers-on.

“I'm Peter and Marjorie Calley’s son.”

“Shut up. Little Clifford?” Nora laughed. “Small world.”

“I am not that much younger than you are. Please never call me that again; I just got my mother to stop.”

“Get this Donna,” she looked at her friend. “His mother used to dress him up in short pants, knee socks and little caps. She wanted him to look like a prince or something.” Nora laughed. “It was the cutest thing.”

“Actually Donna, it wasn’t.” Cliff replied.

“Are you still a Republican?” Nora asked.

“You're a Republican?” Donna looked at him with wide blue eyes.

“Of course he is…his parents are. His father is chairman of the New England chapter of the RNC.”

“The R…?”

“The Republican National Committee kid. Better known as the Grand Old Party. I bet you are in the University Republicans, aren’t you?”

“We are a small but plucky group.” Cliff said. “I'm a nice guy Donna, really I am.”

“I believe you.” Donna said.

“Done.” Nora pushed the clipboard at him. “Donna, Josh is a big boy; he can handle Amy Gardner. You have to stop coddling him. I love Josh too but he doesn’t deserve your blind devotion.”

“Thank you very much.” Cliff said. “Here are your three room keys.”

“There are five of us.” Nora reasoned.

“Policy only allows us to give out three room keys.”

“Who can I talk to about that policy?”

“I will speak with Mrs. Landingham. I would be happy to call up to your room when I have an answer.” Cliff said.

“Good deal. Thanks Cliff.”

“Thank you.” Donna said.

“You're welcome. Should I ask for you, Donna, when I call up?”

“Sure.”

They walked away. Donna found it hard to wipe the smile from her face. Nora nudged her.

“We've been in town less than an hour and you already have an admirer. See, you don’t need Josh.”

“He seems nice.”

“He was a nice kid, despite his party affiliation. Our fathers argued for a living. We have been acquainted since diapers.”

“Where does he go to school?” Donna asked.

They got on the elevator together. Apparently, their party had already made their way to the top floor with all of the luggage.

“Brown University. I think he is pre-law but I try not to listen to his mother when she talks. One thing I do know is he does not have a girlfriend. Cliff Calley dating someone would have definitely made its way around Providence.”

“I couldn’t just…I mean he seems nice but…” Donna stammered.

“We are going to be here for nine weeks.” Nora said, putting her hand on the younger girl’s shoulder as the elevator door opened. “We are going to have such fun and you need to spread your wings. Cliff is safe, not that there is anything wrong with that. He is respectable, and he won't try to take what you don’t want to give. You get me?”

“I get you.” Donna nodded.

They passed Larry and Bonnie in the hallway. It was best to keep walking so they did. The suite was already filled with the usual suspects so Nora and Donna just went in.

***

“I wanted to call you before we came, or write to you. Something like that.”

“Hmm.”

Bonnie leaned on the wall between their suites. Larry seemed as if he wanted to be close but maintained a respectable distance. They had been doing this dance in one form of another since the first semester of her freshman year. They fell for each other in Dr. Berryhill’s Revolution and Constitution class at Columbia University. In September, she would enter her junior year. Larry was going to be a senior. She was sure that she was in love with him; almost as sure that it would never be.

“I didn’t know what to say.” He said.

“What you say doesn’t matter Larry. Just that you said something at all. If you don’t how would I even know that you give a damn? How long do you think I am going to keep doing this?”

“I don't know. I just…”

“Bonnie?”

She turned when she heard her name. Jeff Breckinridge came out of a room and walked toward them. She smiled.

“Hey Jeff.”

“Hi there. I wasn’t sure if you were going to be in town this summer.”

“Yeah. My father actually agreed to let me spend my summers as I like as long as I maintain my grades. I told him that letting my adventurous spirit free now would help me be more grounded in my old age.”

“Good plan.” Jeff chuckled. “Will you doing part time work while you're here?”

“Nope.” She shook her head, the smile never leaving her face. “Oh, I'm sorry, do you know Larry Reynolds? We go to school together.”

“You go to Barnard?” Jeff raised an eyebrow as they shook hands.

“Columbia.” Larry mumbled.

“Good to know you. So, no work Bonnie?”

“I worked part time during the semester.” She replied. “I'm as free as a bird.”

“So I could probably convince you to have dinner with me?”

“Mmm, probably.”

“Good.” He smiled. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“OK.”

“Good to meet you Larry.”

“Bye.” She waved.

Larry glared at her as Jeff walked away.

“So you're just going to go out with that guy?”

“He is a nice guy.” She said.

“So what? I…”

“You what Larry? What?”

He didn’t say anything, choosing instead to focus on his sneakers.

“Exactly. You're going to have to decide for yourself what you are going to do. I'm here to have fun. I left the drama behind in Manhattan. I can have fun with you but I can certainly do it by myself.”

“That,” Larry pointed down the now empty hallway. “is not by yourself.”

“Go to hell.”

She brushed past him, going into her suite and slamming the door. Larry cursed under his breath. He put his palm on the door and thought about knocking. What would he say if she came out? Nothing, that’s what? He was not going to say anything because he was a Lily-livered little weasel. Why would Bonnie want a guy like him? He was willing to bet a year’s tuition that Jeff Whatsisname wasn’t Lily-livered. He was also going to walk off into the sunset with his girlfriend.

***

“I had the most awful sunburn last summer.” CJ said, taking the bottle Bonnie handed her. “I'm going to use this stuff for a little while.”

“What's that?” Nora asked, rubbing suntan lotion on her stomach.

Three girls in bikinis were relaxing by the outside pool on their third afternoon in Florida. It was a gorgeous sunny day and they planned to enjoy it.

“It’s called sun block.” Bonnie said. “The sun rays can fry you, as CJ’s sunburn showed. This helps you get an even tan while protecting your skin from the harmful stuff. You know it was bad last year when I was peeling.”

Bonnie had beautiful, even brown skin. CJ never saw her with as much as a pimple. She loved the sun and had worshipped it since she was a little girl growing up outside of Indianapolis.

“John Hoynes asked me to have dinner with him tonight.” CJ said.

“He works fast.” Nora replied.

“Well, he asked me out several times over the semester but I had five classes. I barely had time to eat and sleep…my social life was nil. There was going to be no traveling the rails between Boston and Manhattan for me.”

“He is handsome, and intriguing.” Bonnie replied.

“I guess.” CJ said shrugging. She raked her hair back with her fingers and pulled it into a ponytail.

“C'mon CJ,” Nora said. “Don’t pick him apart as you do everything. John Hoynes is practically perfect in everyway.”

“I think that’s what bothers me. He does not have a single flaw. He is brilliant, witty, handsome, and perfect. That’s not normal.”

“OK, so what?” Bonnie said. “We all have a side that we show to the masses; a façade. John’s is perfection. Perhaps when you get to know him better you will discover the rest of him.”

“Are you afraid that he’s shallow?” Nora asked, sipping her Dr. Pepper through a straw.

“No. I don't know but there is a lot going on under the guise of his perfection. I guess I'm afraid that I don’t want to know what's underneath. Maybe it’s something I don’t want to see. I'm probably being melodramatic. Ignore me.”

“Hell, at least you have a guy pursuing you. Toby avoids me like the clap.” She lit a cigarette.

“That’s better than being loved every once in a while. This thing with Larry is so schizophrenic. I think I am heading straight to the nuthouse.”

“Do you think there is a chance Bon? For the two of you?” CJ asked.

She shrugged, putting her finger in her page of Essence Magazine.

“We do love each other, but in the end it is not my feelings that this thing hinges on. Larry is never going to be able to stand up to his father and tell him about us. He is never going to do what he wants to do. He wants to go into journalism but his father insists on law school so he is going to law school. A part of me is really angry about it but I like to live in reality.”

“Jeff Breckinridge is a nice reality.” Nora said. “He is quite good looking.”

“Yeah.” Bonnie smiled though her heart was not in it. She had no intention of starting a rebound love affair with the dashing law student. Just spending time with someone outside of her current circle would be nice. Another Afro-American would make it even better.

“Lets make a pact.” Nora said, holding out her hand palm down. Bonnie and CJ put their hands on top of hers. “To hell with drama for the next eight weeks. We will have our own adventure and stop worrying about certain Columbia boys who may not be ready to act like men. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“John Hoynes goes to Harvard.” CJ said.

“OK, all Ivy League boys.” Nora amended.

“Right. Let our summer of fun begin.”

***

“I am finally going to have the opportunity to make Amy see that we are so right for each other.”

“Don’t waste time with analysis and pie charts.” Larry said. “Just do it.”

“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” Toby asked.

“No, she and Chris broke up last year. I never could figure out what she saw in him. They had nothing in common.”

“They both seemed to like sex…a lot.”

“Thank you Toby, because I had managed to strike most of those thoughts from my memory. I appreciate the recap.”

“No problem. I wasn’t talking about Chris anyway. I thought she was dating John Tandy. We’re on the paper together and he walks around like he’s all pro ERA. That guy is a serious poseur.”

“I don’t care about him, if she is even dating him.” Josh finished his beer and immediately opened another. “This is about Amy and I. We are here together and I plan to get it right this time.”

“You never got it wrong before.” Ed said. “You didn’t even get out of the starting gate.”

“Well I have already done that this time so I'm one up on past attempts.”

“I'm not really sure that you two are here together.” Sam said. “Its more like being here at the same time.”

“Sam, you didn’t used to say things like that before you started hanging out with Deputy Downer all the time.” Josh pointed at Toby who was ignoring him as he lit a cigarette. “If he was the smartest guy in the room he would have nailed Nora by now.”

“Hey Westport, don’t ever use the word nail and Nora in the same sentence again. It’s complicated and really none of your business.”

“Its complicated and really none of your business.” Josh mimicked in his ‘important Toby’ voice.

“The whole species is complicated.” Ed added, drinking his beer.

“Amen to that.”

“You're quiet Larry.” Josh said.

“Bonnie is really going to go out with that Jeff guy. He asked her out right in front of me and she acted as if I wasn’t standing there. What the hell is that?”

“Technically she is not your girlfriend anymore.” Ed reminded him. “She broke up with you right before finals.”

“I just need to get over her. Its over and that’s probably the best thing anyway.”

“What are you talking about man? Bonnie is…damn, she is hot. OK not just that, she is so smart, funny, and fun to be around. If she were my girlfriend I would not be down here drinking with you guys, that’s for sure.” Josh said.

“As Ed pointed out, she is not my girlfriend anymore. She is all those things, but she is also Afro-American. There dammit, I said it. I acknowledged the elephant in the room.”

“It only seems to be that to you.” Toby replied.

“Yeah, who cares?” Sam asked.

“You're from California.” Larry replied.

“I'm lost.”

“Larry is saying that people on the West Coast are much more progressive than people from New England have pretended to be for centuries.” Toby explained. “Stop crying in your beer about her if you are never going to be able to get past that. That is the one thing that she will never be able to change.”

“You're an asshole.” Larry muttered.

“So I've been told. If you listened to how you were talking right now, you would realize you are one too.”

Larry pushed his chair back and walked away from the table. Ed looked at Toby.

“Nice to kick a man when he’s down Toby. Larry didn’t deserve that.”

“I was not trying to kick him. We are all having female issues at the moment but he is practically blaming Bonnie for being who she is. Those issues are his and he should leave her out of it. Its 1978 the last time I checked, not 1958.”

“So I should ask Tish out?” Sam asked.

Josh gasped.

“You think she’s cute man? She and Donna are tight…I could talk you up.”

“I don’t want you talking me up…you tell girls stories that make me look stupid.”

“I do not.”

“You kinda do.” Ed said.

“I do?”

“You definitely do.” Sam replied. “Don’t worry; I will handle this one on my own. Thanks though.”

“That’s what best friends are for, Sam. To a successful summer filled with beautiful and fascinating women. I will drink to that.”

Their beer bottles came together and they kept drinking. Toby flagged the server for another round.

***

“You should have gone to Radcliffe.” John said.

“Why?”

“So that you and I could have actually been on the same team for once. I think it would have been fun.”

“I quite enjoy our sparring, don’t you John?”

They were having dinner at The Burgundy Room. It was one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. When John invited her out, he dropped the name of the place…knew it would impress. While CJ was not as excited as some girls might be, John found that did not upset him. She liked the place and he liked her. She was beautiful and fun to be around.

“I do.”

“Anyway, I was accepted at Radcliffe. Barnard accepted me; Wellesley, Sarah Lawrence, Penn, Georgetown, and Smith did also. I struggled choosing between Barnard and Smith.”

“Radcliffe wasn’t even a choice?”

“I wanted to go to school in New York City. I applied to Radcliffe because my father just wanted to make sure they accepted me…bragging rights as it were. Boston is nice, but when girls from Dayton dream of the big city, it is definitely New York City.” She cut some of her chicken, taking a bite. Then she took another. “I hear you got early acceptance into Yale Law.”

“I did, but haven’t made my final decision. I still have a year of school left and I am waiting for some other letters.” John sipped his wine. “My father has his heart set on Yale but Penn has an excellent law program. It’s still in the Ivy League. Enough about me…what is your favorite song?”

“Of all time? Um, Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters. Honestly though, right now I am a big KISS fan…a lieutenant in the KISS army.”

“Stop it.” John laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Nora and I have tickets to see them play at Madison Square Garden in October. I am so excited.”

“Every time you say something new, I find you more intriguing. How do you do that?”

“I'm just me.” she replied. “I'm not doing it to impress you.”

“Even better.”

“Do you like KISS?”

“Absolutely not.”

CJ laughed, hitting his hand softly.

“I think you might be a square, John Hoynes.”

“I resent that. Well, I might be…just a little.”

“It’s OK.”

“Is it?”

“We can't all be the same; that would be no fun. I think about my mother and father…on the surface they seemed to have nothing in common. There was this chemistry between them that defied all of that. They were just in love.”

“It sounds like they have a wonderful story.”

“I think its quite lovely.” CJ replied.

“Is that you and Toby Ziegler?”

“Is what…?”

Chemistry between you that defies all that?” he asked.

“John, if I were in love with Toby Ziegler I would not be here with you. I date because I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Well, you two just seem so close, and I know he doesn’t like me.”

“If Toby doesn’t like you, I’m sure that it has nothing to do with me.”

That was not quite the truth but it wasn’t because Toby was in love with her. What they had was above even the stranglehold of romantic love. CJ really had no idea what it was, but she loved him very much. It was the first time in her life she had ever felt that way for a man and sometimes the feelings were still overwhelming to her. The server returned to remove dinner dishes.

“Are you interested in dessert?” she asked them.

“I would like to see a menu please.” CJ replied smiling.

John nodded as the server walked away.

“How do you keep such an amazing figure, CJ?”

“Are you saying I eat too much?”

“I would never say such a thing. Do you like coffee?”

“Mmm hmm. It’s a girl’s best friend.”

“I heard somewhere that that was diamonds.” John replied.

“Those are quite nice too.”

They ordered two cups of coffee as CJ looked over the dessert menu. She looked at John with what he interpreted to be a seductive smile.

“Do you want to share a slice of chocolate cake?”

“That is a request I could not possibly say no to, Miss Cregg.”

He wore that charismatic smile of his and CJ could not help but return it. It had a tendency to be contagious. Like the bubonic plague, Toby Ziegler would say.

 

***

CJ came running through the sliding glass door, chucking the football at Sam. They were both laughing as Cliff came from behind the counter.

“Hey guys, c'mon, no football in the lobby. Seriously, you could hurt someone and I could get in trouble.”

“Live a little, Cliff Calley.” CJ replied, laughing. Cliff tried to intercept the football but missed. CJ did too. She picked it up off the floor.

“This is my job.” He said, the football sailing past him and into Sam’s hands. “Are you trying to get me fired? Mrs. Landingham will have my head.”

“Go long, Claudia Jean.” Sam said.

CJ started to run backward, her long arms in the air as she saw the football flying her way. Oh yeah, she was going to catch it.

“CJ!” Cliff exclaimed. “Watch out!”

“Huh…whoa…wha!”

Screaming, CJ went down rather hard. She felt something underneath her, some sounds (including her own expletives), and then everything stopped. There seemed to be silence and stillness for some time. A pair of arms, foreign but not uncomfortable, wrapped around her flat stomach. CJ exhaled, the sounds of the bustling lobby coming back into her ears. No one seemed to give a damn about the two people lying flat on the plush carpet. At least she thought she only knocked over one person…one person was definitely holding onto her.

“Christ, I am so sorry.” Extracting herself from his hold, CJ bounced back onto her feet. She turned and looked at her victim. He was a bit crumpled, frazzled, but looked as if he would survive. CJ offered him a hand. “Are you alright?” she asked.

“I think so.” He shook himself out. Bending down, he picked up the neon orange and pink Nerf ball. “Does this belong to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Football is not allowed in the hotel lobby.”

“I know, and I am really sorry sir. Cliff Calley told us to stop but we were just goofing around.”

“That’s understandable. Please don’t call me sir.” He grinned. “I'm Leo.”

“CJ.”

His hand was still in hers so CJ shook. Then she slowly pulled her hand away. Leo still smiled.

“Please don’t tell the manager on Cliff Calley.” She said. “We pick on him relentlessly but I don't want him to be fired.”

“His job is secure. That’s nice of you.”

“I don’t want to live with that kind of guilt. I have enough weight on my shoulders.”

“You seem awful young to have such worries.” He replied.

“There is no age attached to worries Leo.”

He nodded, looking at his watch.

“Well um, as lovely as this encounter has been, I am already running late. Please excuse me.” he started walking away. “Watch your back CJ.”

“Sorry again.”

He looked at her. 

“Believe me, you made my day. How often can a guy like me say a very pretty girl fell for him?”

“I think you mean fell over you.”

“Semantics.” He shrugged.

“Semantics are the difference between what really happened and a kinky fantasy sequence.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Goodbye.”

“See you later.” She waved.

As Leo walked out of the door, Sam came rushing over. Cliff did too.

“Are you alright?” Sam asked.

“Oh my God Spanky.” She punched his arm. “Thanks for nothing. Remind me never to commit a crime with you.”

“I just…I just…”

“I know; you just didn’t want to get into any trouble. Forget it, its cool.” She looked at Cliff. “We won't play football in the lobby anymore Cliff Calley. Scout’s honor.”

“I appreciate it. Luckily, Mr. McGarry was in a good mood today. I have to get back to the desk.”

“Whoa CJ.” Sam said as Cliff walked away. “You mowed down the owner; really knocked him out.”

“The owner of what?”

They started walking to the elevator. That little encounter, combined with the game of catch they played on the beach, left CJ drained. If she was going to be worth anything for another dinner with John Hoynes tonight she needed a shower and a nap.

“Leo McGarry owns this hotel.”

“Great.” She rolled her eyes. “There is no way in hell we are going to be allowed to stay here next year.”

“I think he got a kick out of you. Most people do you know…it’s hard not to be enamored with you.”

“Are you buttering me up so I will let you into my room to woo Tish McTiernan?”

“No. You know what you do to men, whether you mean to or not.” he was quiet for a moment. “But you are going to let me in, right?”

“Whatever Spanky.” CJ smirked as they got off the elevator. “C'mon before I change my mind.”

***

“Oh Bonnie, oh Bonnie, mmm Bon, oh God yeah, oh God babe, oh, God, ohhh!”

Bonnie arched her back as Larry thrust in and out of her. His hands squeezed her breasts; she bit her lip. She wanted to tell him to shut the hell up as she gripped his hips. She wanted to tell him that it was not that damn good and that he was overreaching but she said nothing. Because it was that damn good…it always was. Maybe if it wasn’t she would not keep coming back to a hopeless situation. The chemicals in their bodies just seemed to react to each other, exploding in feelings that boggled both of their minds.

She caressed his face, kissing him hard as her body tightened around him and they both started to fall.

“Larry!”

Damn, the way she whimpered his name always made him feel so good. He thrust a few more times and climaxed with a groan.

“Oh yeah.”

Larry fell over on the mattress. They were both breathing hard; Bonnie pulled the sheet over her naked body. Larry just looked at her as he rested on his side.

“I love you.” He said.

The words hung in the air. Larry stroked her arm and repeated it. She still said nothing.

“Bonnie?”

“I don't know what to say.”

“What do you mean? Tell me that you love me too.”

“I think you telling me what to say will not make it so.”

“You don’t love me?”

“Don’t do that either Larry.” She whispered.

“What? Don’t get pissed at me because you can't even say that you love me anymore.”

“Oh please. What does it matter if I do say it? We keep falling into this cycle and it hurts. I can't do this anymore.”

“I'm hurting too. I'm tired of you thinking that you hold the record on pain. I hate that you always make it sound as if I don’t give a damn.” Larry replied. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I don’t believe you.” Bonnie said. She threw the sheet off, getting up from the bed and starting to dress. 

“Where are you going? Why the hell did you come here Bonnie; just to get laid?”

“I came here because I'm stupid. Because I just keep thinking if…this is not me Larry. This is you.”

“Bonnie, I…”

“Stop.” She pulled the Doobie Brothers tee shirt over her head before sliding her panties up. “This is never going to work. We have to stop before we hurt each other beyond repair.”

“So you think it will work out with Jeff Breckinridge?” he could not pretend to hide his contempt.

“I won't even dignify that with a response. That is what you do Larry, you find everyone else to blame for your issues instead of looking at yourself. This is not about Jeff; this is about you. Is that how you see me though; you think I'm a whore? You think I am going to hop out of your bed and into his. You're the only person I've ever been with. You took my virginity you son of a bitch!”

“I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth. I wouldn’t ever say that.”

“I am through thinking that if I just give my all you will come to your senses. I can't make you more than you are just as you can't make me white.”

“I never want to do that.” Larry replied.

“It would be easier though, wouldn’t it? Am I wrong? Just admit that to me. If you love me, you can do that. You would have already asked me to marry you.”

“OK, if you were white it might be easier. Happy!” Larry exclaimed. “Who even cares, because you wouldn’t be you and we wouldn’t be on this merry-go-round…the whole damn conversation is moot.”

“Of course it is. This is over Larry.”

“Don’t walk out on me Bonnie.” He jumped out of bed, pulling on his boxers. “I want more than anything for this to work; you know that, but…”

“You could put ‘but’ on your gravestone, you know that? Don’t bother to follow me. Just stay right there and want. I'm not coming back this time…I'm sorry I did today. I guess I do owe you an apology for that.”

She walked out of the room, softly closing the door behind her. Toby came into the suite as she was trying to leave.

“Hey Bon.”

“Hi Toby.”

“Are you alright?”

“Ask me that in a few hours after I've had some vodka.”

“Are you girls going to the Moonlight Club tonight?”

“Yeah. See you later.”

He gently squeezed her shoulder.

“Bye.”

She left but did not go back into her room. She needed to take a walk; clear her head as best she could. The elevator door opened and Jeff was already there. That surprised Bonnie.

“Did you ride up just for fun?” she asked.

“I was riding down actually.” He replied. “Leo McGarry has a suite on the 16th floor.”

“Really? He lives up there by himself.”

“Yes. Where are you going?”

“I need to take a walk. I'm not having the best afternoon.”

Jeff looked at her. The flush of her skin and the faint smell was familiar…she must have been intimate with someone that afternoon. It had to be Larry Reynolds. He wondered what was going on between them and how far the feelings flowed.

“Would you like some company? I'm actually just getting off work.”

“No, thanks though.”

“Sure.”

They walked into the lobby. Jeff headed toward the back office but Bonnie took his hand.

“My friends and I are going to the Moonlight Club tonight around nine o’clock. If you stop by, I will buy you a drink.” She said.

“I'm not the best dancer.” Jeff replied with a self-deprecating laugh.

“I don’t care.”

“Alright. I will see you there.”

Bonnie smiled and walked out into the late afternoon sunshine. It was time to move on. It would be hard but she had the strength. Jeff Breckinridge would not be a rebound; she didn’t think that was fair to either one of them. She had six weeks left in Florida…it was time to let her adventurous spirit free.

 

***

“Do you mind some company?”

Nora looked up from her thoughts and saw Toby Ziegler standing a few feet away. He was carrying a six-pack but there were only two beers left in it. The hotel was quiet; it was almost two o’clock in the morning. He put on a bit of a smile, holding up the beers.

“I come bearing gifts.” He said.

Nora decided not to avoid him intentionally, she took the pact she and her friends made to heart. She needed to relax and get ready for her senior year of college and beyond. If Toby did not want to be with her, she could not force it. She certainly didn’t like the idea of wasting her whole vacation chasing a man, no matter how she felt about him. Toby knew she liked him; he had to make some choices now. Nora planned to stay on her side of the fence and let him come to her if he wanted. Look like he might want to.

“Well,” she smiled. “When you put it that way…come and sit.”

“How are you?” Toby sat on the wicker loveseat beside her.

“Good. I've been hanging on the beach; laughing with the girls…it’s been great. There is rain in the forecast next week so I might actually get a chance to just stay in and read. I worked quite hard this past semester so I appreciate the time off. Did I tell you how much I loved your series in the Spectator?”

“No.”

“Well I did.” She took one of the beers and the bottle opener Toby offered. “If everyone was as passionate as you when it came to urban blight, New York City would be a better place.”

“It will be again. You just have to keep shouting until someone listens.”

“That’s a good philosophy.”

They didn’t talk for a little while. Nora sipped her beer while studying the stars. It was a beautiful night, the smell of the ocean wafting through the warm, salty air. She could not think of too many places she would rather be than on that balcony. The company was nice too.

“Is bartending good this year?” she asked.

Toby worked the bar at the Road House on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.

“The tips are better than expected. The stories are even wilder.”

“Like what?”

“Sex, drugs, and rock n roll. I think most of it is lies but it does make the time go by faster. I see you and the girls hanging out there sometimes. You should probably find a better place. It’s getting seedier. Of course I won't have to worry about paying for books next semester.”

“Senior year. God, time moves so fast. Do you have post graduate plans?”

“I'm waiting to hear if I got into the Communications graduate program and the law school.” Toby replied.

“Both? Wow, I don’t know anyone who loves school that much.”

“I don’t love school either.” Toby smirked, shaking his head. “I just believe this is what I have to do to achieve what I want to achieve.”

“What's that?” Nora asked.

“I’ll get back to you on that.”

“At least I know we will talk again.” Nora laughed. She leaned closer to him and their shoulders touched. “You know where to find me.”

“Hewitt Hall, room 412. Singer-songwriter on the record player and candles burning.”

“I didn’t know that I was that predictable.”

“I never said that.” Toby said.

“What would you say?”

“I don't know. That’s probably some of the problem.”

“How do you mean?”

“Do you want to get something to eat tomorrow or the day after? I would be more specific, but knowing the two of us that might lead to some trouble.”

“Yeah, OK.” Nora nodded.

“So, you want to go out?”

“Yes Toby. I want to go out.”

She turned, pressing her mouth on his. Toby’s initial reaction was shock but it felt quite nice. Her hands came up to cup his bearded face; Toby’s arms slipped around her waist. Nora pulled away slowly, opening her eyes and focusing on him. He wanted more; she could feel it. Nora was not a tease so it was probably time to say goodnight.

When she stood, Toby had a chance to admire her jeans and tube top. The woman had a body for sin but he believed her to be as pure as snow. OK, maybe not snow but no one had slid anywhere near Nora Madison’s home base. At least Toby didn’t think they had… the enigma of her made her sexier.

“Goodnight Toby.”

“Goodnight.”

She softly kissed his forehead before walking back into her suite. The door slid closed; he heard the lock turn. Alone under the stars he tried to think of ways to make the third time a charm for them.

***

“Hey Margaret, what's shakin?”

CJ came up to the front desk and smiled at the redhead.

“Hi CJ.”

“Three things I need. We have to have more towels in Suite 1503.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Great. Also, someone told me to give this to you though I don’t really know what it is. Here you go.” She handed her a folded piece of paper. “Lastly, is Cliff Calley around?”

“He worked the nine to three shift but I think he is still in the back.” Margaret said. “I’ll go and check.”

“Thanks so much.”

CJ leaned on the counter for a few minutes, bopping to the music in her head. Margaret came back with Cliff; he rolled his eyes when he saw CJ.

“Oh dear God, what did I do to deserve this?” he asked.

“Hey Cliff Calley.” Her tone was cheery.

“What could you possibly want?”

“Is that any way to talk to a customer?” she asked, feigning shock. “I am surprised at you, as you were raised right and usually have such a professional demeanor. Hey Margaret, isn’t the customer always right?”

“She is right Cliff.”

“She is not the customer;” Cliff said, pointing at CJ. “She is the spawn of Satan.”

“I love you too Cliff Calley. C'mon, I need a favor.”

“Yeah right.”

“It’s just a small one.”

“Well hurry and tell me what it is…I haven’t had a good laugh all day.”

CJ pulled him closer by his tie. She practically yanked him across the counter; it was not an altogether friendly gesture.

“I need to know everything you can tell me about Leo McGarry.” She lowered her voice. “Don’t bother to play dumb. I know you know everything that happens around here.”

“I won't deny that. But I am surely not giving you any information about my boss. I have enough trouble this awful summer. No way, forget it, uh uh. Did I mention forget it?”

“Your reluctance surprises me.” CJ replied. “You seemed like a good guy Cliff Calley.”

“Why would it? And why do you insist on calling me by my whole name?”

“We don’t have time for small talk.” She signaled around the counter with her hand. “Let’s have a walk and talk.”

“Whatever for?”

“Because you are going to tell me what I want to know. In exchange for this kindness I plan to give you information on a certain blonde who seems to have caught your eye.”

“Seriously?” Cliff’s blue grey eyes widened.

“I am nothing if not generous.” CJ replied. “C'mon.”

Cliff started to walk out with CJ, turning to look at Margaret.

“If you don’t see me around in a half hour, file a missing persons report.”

“Uh huh.” She hardly looked up from her paperwork.

“Alright.” He sighed as they went outside. CJ sat up on the railing with Cliff standing beside her. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want. Tell me everything about Leo McGarry.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm asking nicely. Cliff!”

“OK, OK. He owns the hotel.”

“Sam told me that.” she pushed him gently. “Tell me the good stuff.”

“He is independently wealthy; dabbles in damn near everything and he knows many important people. He is a labor lawyer by trade but a very heavy hitter in the Democratic Party. I was surprised that he even came down here this summer…he is not exactly a beach person. Or a people person for that matter, as far as I can see. He doesn’t like the noise of this place.”

“Is he married?” CJ asked.

“Divorced, with a teenage daughter. Look, that’s all I can give you.”

“Yeah right. Keep talking.”

“He has dinner in the hotel restaurant once or twice a week but usually he just stays in his suite unless he is going out for meetings and stuff.”

“Where is his suite?”

“The 16th floor.”

“What 16th floor?” CJ asked.

“Guests don’t have access to the 16th floor; you have to have a special elevator key. If you think I am giving it to you, forget it. I am already going out on a limb here. Oh yeah, he also has a penchant for redheads.”

“No shit?” CJ asked, running her fingers through her reddish gold hair.

“His ex-wife was, and so was the last woman he almost married. Her name was Jordan Kendall…I really thought they were going to make it. Oh well. Look, quid pro quo, tell me about Donna.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything!”

“OK, calm down Tonto. Donna loves books, and ice cream. She is a big fan of movies and Sondheim plays. She likes men who are confident and intelligent, but not cocky. Cocky will get you the door really fast. If you go in there and act like yourself then you should be fine. DO NOT try to be someone you're not; Donna can see through that behavior a mile away. She can be quiet and reserved but once you get to know her she is a total blast. I think she likes you.”

“Really?” Cliff asked.

“Yeah.”

“What about Josh Lyman?”

“What about him?”

“C'mon, is there something there? I don’t want to pursue a girl who is obviously after someone else.”

“They are just friends…like brother and sister I guess.” She jumped down from the railing. “I gotta boog. We never had this conversation.”

“Right.” Cliff nodded. “Goodbye.”

CJ went back into the hotel, making plans. Cliff followed a few minutes later. He was doing the exact same thing.

***

“I brought you a beer.”

Sam came out on the balcony to find Tish engaged in a conversation with Toby. They were both smoking cigarettes and seemed deep into whatever they were discussing. Sam was not fond of smoking; he would have to find someway to bring that up without sounding like a Californian tree hugging granola eater.

“What am I, chop liver?”

“Oh um…I didn’t know…I um…”

“I'm just kidding you.” Toby grinned, slapping Sam’s back. “I can get my own beer; its cool. Is Nora in there?”

The guys were throwing a little impromptu party in their hotel suite. Earth, Wind, and Fire played on the record player and the alcohol was flowing. It was going to be a good night.

“I think she and Bonnie are mixing daiquiris in the kitchen. You might want to make sure they haven’t blown anything up.”

“Right. I hope that we’ll get to finish this before the night ends Tish. I might be sober enough. I would love to know what you think of the new wave of modern art coming out of New York right now.”

“Anytime.”

Toby left them alone. He knew Sam was nervous enough. If he stuck around the younger man would say next to nothing and Toby would have to play moderator. He would much rather get drunk and try to talk with Nora. Sam watched him go back in before opening the beer and handing it to her.

“I think your tee shirt is groovy.” He said. 

They sat down on the bench together after Tish put out her cigarette.

“I think groovy is a word you don’t use a lot.”

“Did I sound dumb?”

“No.” she shook her head. “I'm a big fan of James Taylor. The last time he was in DC, my mom and I went to see him. I tear up every time I hear Fire and Rain.”

“I thought you were from Minneapolis.”

“St. Paul, actually. But my family has lived in Washington, DC since 1970.”

“Oh. No wonder you study politics; you live in the shadow of the Capitol. I'm actually hoping to get an internship on the Hill next summer. Josh and I both want to start on the ground floor and move up. What do your parents do?”

“My mother currently stays at home; I have three little sisters and a brother. My dad, he um…he’s a US Senator.”

“I'm sorry?”

“He’s a US Senator.”

“Your father is a US Senator.” Sam repeated. “Ted McTiernan is your dad? Holy…”

“I hate to tell people that because…well, people like to be your friend when they know you have connections. Then if I don’t tell and people find out they feel betrayed and want to know why I am hiding things. I'm not hiding; I love my father very much. My parents taught me to be proud of who I am and where I came from.”

“You should definitely be, yeah.” He nodded.

“You're freaked out now.” Tish said. “I'm sorry Sam; I didn’t mean to drop it on you like a bomb.”

“There probably wasn’t any other way. I didn’t know he was married to an Afro-American woman.”

“For 17 years…way before it was acceptable. However, it is hardly the norm now. He adopted me; my biological father died when I was six months old. It’s always so hard to explain and then everyone looks at me with raised eyebrows. I thought I would get it out of the way before anyone said anything offhand and you had no idea what was going on.”

“Why do you like taking pictures so much?” Sam asked.

“I'm sorry?” Tish looked at him and laughed. She got up and went over to the railing. It was a beautiful night and there were still a few people out on the beach.

“We've been here about four weeks and I have never seen you separated from your camera. I want to know what you see behind the lens.”

“That might take a fair amount of explaining.”

“We have time. I don’t think being with you is a bad way to spend my time. It’s a great way, actually.”

“You're a nice guy, Sam Seaborn.”

“Don't say that.” he shook his head, closing his eyes and laughing a bit. “Aw, don’t say that.”

“Why not? Do you want to be Steve McQueen? Maybe Warren Beatty or Burt Reynolds?”

“Just once might be cool. Girls always tell me I'm a nice guy…nice guys finish last you know. Sure, Luke Skywalker saves the world but Han Solo will get the girl, the fame, and the ship with hyper drive.”

Tish laughed, finishing her beer and putting the bottle on the table.

“C'mere.”

He stood and walked over to her. His hands were shaking so Sam stuck them behind his back. Tish wrapped her arms around his neck and they shared their first kiss. Also, their second, third, and fourth. They would’ve had their fifth but Sam needed to breathe and collect his thoughts.

“I think you are the perfect Luke Skywalker.” She whispered.

“I always mess up with girls.” He replied. “See, like I never should have told you that. You probably think I'm a nerd and I don’t want you to like me because you think I'm rather pitiful and…”

“Shut up Sam.”

Her lips were over his again and he was quite content to do what she said.

 

***  
“Ladies.”

Toby leaned on the doorframe of the kitchen. Nora and Bonnie looked at him as they poured another round of strawberry daiquiris. Bonnie smiled.

“Hey Toby. I haven’t seen you in a while. Have you been having a good time with Jack Daniels?”

“He's a good guy.”

“Not to me. Brown liquor makes me loopy.”

“You're cute when you're loopy.”

“I’ll get out of your hair.” She replied grinning.

“My hair? Are you making fun of my hair?”

“Toby, hon, you're drunk.” She looked at Nora. “See you later.”

Bonnie laughed as she headed back into the living room. She wanted to get in on the next card game. Larry was playing but she would not let that bother her. They ran in the same circle so seeing each other was inevitable. She did a good job of being cordial but distant. Larry seemed to prefer avoidance but that was a bit impossible tonight.

“Wanna sit down Toby?” Nora asked

“Nah, this is nice.”

“Is the doorframe holding you up?”

“That’s possible.”

She smiled, taking his hand and pulling him toward the table. He wavered but did not fall. Plopping down in the chair, Toby rested his bearded chin in the palm of his hand.

“You are quite a beautiful woman.” He said.

His speech was slurred and his eyes glassy. Nora wondered how much bourbon he had. She noticed that Toby drank a lot. She did not believe him to be an alcoholic but he drank a lot.

“Thank you. How much have you had to drink tonight?”

“I'm not…OK, I'm drunk. Nevertheless, I am perfectly capable of having a conversation. See?”

“I believe you.”

She sipped her drink and put a cigarette in her mouth. Toby lit it, managing not to set anything on fire. Nora pulled her hair off her shoulders just in case.

“This party was a good idea.” She said. “We all need to have some fun together without it being some sex romp.”

“Yeah. I'm really glad you don’t hate me Nora; I did some dumb things this year.”

“No you didn’t. We had a few bad dates; it happens.”

“That’s an optimistic way of looking at it.” he replied. “I don’t always look at things that way.”

“I would have never guessed.”

Toby studied her as Nora’s face broke into a smile. OK, she was joking around with him.

“How do we get to know each other better without doing that?”

“What? Bad dates? We don't even have to call them dates…we aren’t teenagers. We talk, have some drinks, and that is how we get to know each other. I got to know you better through your articles in the Spectator.”

“I have read some of your work in the Bulletin too. I guess I should have mentioned that before. I read and appreciate your work too. I actually hate this part of the socialization process, Nora.” Toby went to the refrigerator and grabbed a Coca-Cola. “My grandparents had an arranged marriage and they were together for sixty years. He was married what was considered late in life at the time; he was almost 27.”

“I think we will see that trend more in the next decade. More women than ever are going to college and want to enter the workforce. That means they are not going to be marrying out of high school and immediately starting families. It will be interesting to see what happens in the next twenty years with the effects of the Women’s Movement on the first generation.”

“Maybe I am a late in life guy like my grandfather was. What is the 1978 equivalent of your 20s in the early 20th century?”

“Probably 40. What was your grandfather like? Did you know him well? My family is quite small. I know my paternal grandmother but my mother’s parents have passed away and she was an only child.”

“I don’t believe in only children…you have really amazing eyes Nora. I like you and I haven't liked a girl in a long time. Nothing good usually comes of it. Not that I view you as a girl; you are undeniably all woman.”

“Thanks Toby.” she laughed.

CJ came in, laughing too.

“Nora, do you have any cigarettes in here?”

“Yeah. Here you go.”

She held out the Marlboro Lights and CJ took one.

“C'mon out here and play poker…I am sick of kicking these guys’ asses on my own. You two Tobus…I don’t mind taking your money.”

“We’ll be right out.” Nora replied.

“Good.”

CJ gave the thumbs up and left the room. Nora looked at Toby.

“Wanna play poker?”

“Yeah, OK. I want to talk too.”

“We’ll have dinner tomorrow, when we’re both sober. This is not a date.”

“Isn't it?”

“No.” she shook her head. “It is two people enjoying food and conversation. We’ve already done it once, successfully, here. It must be a Florida thing. C’mon, I need to take CJ’s money.”

“Do you like me?” Toby asked, getting up out of the chair.

“Yeah.”

“Do you think about kissing me as much as I think about kissing you?”

“It’s better to talk when we are sober, Toby. At least that kind of talk. C’mon.”

Toby wanted to kiss her now but obviously, the conversation was over. He also did not want Nora to think that kissing her was the only thing on his mind. For the past two years, since they met there was something between them. He needed to get it right and it would not happen tonight with all the liquor in his veins. Sober was better; he would kiss her after dinner tomorrow. They would have a pleasant non-date and then Toby would give her a goodnight kiss.

***

“Hi.”

CJ stood as Leo McGarry approached the table in Spencer’s, the hotel bar, restaurant, and lounge. He could not help smiling when he saw her.

“You really didn’t have to do this CJ.” he said as they both sat down. “There really were no hard feelings about the lobby incident.”

“I appreciate that. I didn’t invite you to lunch to apologize anymore. Well, this will be the last apology. Lunch is on me today.”

“The last time someone bought me lunch, I spent ninety minutes listening to a discussion of unfair labor practices and union corruption.” He replied.

“I promise not to be that boring.” 

“I thank you.”

CJ smiled as the server approached. Leo watched her as she ordered a large garden salad with French dressing on the side. She was quite pretty, looking chic in white pants and a white sleeveless shell. Her lightly tanned skin almost yearned to be touched. He had better stay far away from her…while certainly not illegal, she could not be over 21. Anyway, he saw her chatting and laughing frequently with John Hoynes from Harvard. She was so out of Leo’s league. Just because she was doing something sweet for him didn’t mean she liked him like that. Leo had been out of the game for a while but he was certainly not naïve.

“And you, Mr. McGarry?” the server asked.

“The seafood salad with a glass of iced tea please.”

CJ also asked for a glass of iced tea. The server nodded, walking away. Leo went back to looking at his companion and found it to be an enjoyable task. He had come down to Florida to relax; take a load off. Was there any possibility he could take a load off with her? Leo McGarry was not a womanizer like many of his peers but time in her company would be time well spent.

“So, you're a student at Barnard?” Leo asked.

“Yeah. How did you know that?”

“I know a lot of things…it’s my job. You're a senior?”

“I'm going into my senior year and then I'm off to Berkeley.”

“California? What do you plan to study?”

“I want to get my Masters in Public Policy; maybe even my doctorate. I think the political arena is where I belong.”

“Impressive. Politics can be dirty.”

“I enjoy it most when it’s challenging. I don’t want to run for office, oh God.” CJ laughed. “No, no, no. I am much more of a behind the scenes girl.”

“Me too CJ. Are you having fun in the sun thus far?”

CJ had come to Fort Lauderdale every summer since her junior year at Hotchkiss. She and Nora had been best friends since ninth grade and the wealthy Madisons lavished things on their daughter. Both girls knew the many gifts replaced love and affection but Nora lived her life the best way she knew how.

“It gets bigger every year.” CJ said, sipping the iced tea placed in front of her. “We started coming to the Hotel Soleil two years ago. It is much better than the other hotel we stayed in because that was full of senior citizens. No offense.”

“I think I take more offense to you thinking I take offense.” Leo replied.

CJ laughed, brushing hair behind her ear.

“Your revenue must be high. You're doing excellent business here.”

“I do alright. So, tell me what convinced you to ask me to lunch?”

“I owed you one. You were really cool about being barreled over; you didn’t have to be.”

“It was fun.”

“Shut up.” CJ laughed again. “It was not fun.”

They were served lunch; CJ declined pepper for her salad.

“It actually was. My life has become somewhat monotonous. That was something new and I enjoyed it. I keep promising myself to have more fun.”

“People tell me that I'm a lot of fun.”

Leo grinned, almost believing that the beautiful girl might be flirting with him. Almost.

“I can certainly believe that CJ.”

***

“I had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too. I think that ice cream might stay with me for the rest of my life…it was fantastic.”

“Triple cherry is definitely the best.”

Donna smiled, a small flush creeping along her cheeks. Tonight she and Cliff went on their first date. They met in the lobby of the hotel and walked down several blocks to the local movie theater. Six movies were playing. Though they saw it multiple times, Donna and Cliff settled on Star Wars.

 

“I change my mind.” Donna said as they stood in line.

“You don’t…you don’t want to go out with me?” Cliff stammered.

“Oh no, not that.” she laughed, stroking his arm. “I think I would rather see An Unmarried Woman…if you want.”

“Oh.”

Actually, Cliff had no real interest in seeing the film. His mother called it ‘feminist propaganda’ and its star, Jill Clayburgh, a Communist. If she ever found out he had seen it she would surely have a bird. He was there with Donna though, she was still holding onto his arm, and he did not want to become the record holder for theatrical viewings of Star Wars.

“That sounds OK.” Cliff replied, smiling.

“OK.”

He hardly paid attention to the film. He just held Donna’s hand, trying to think of things to say when they finally left the quiet theater. She seemed to like the movie and confessed that she thought Jill Clayburgh to be one of the most brilliant actresses of the decade.

“Wanna go to 32 Flavors?” Cliff asked.

It started to drizzle as they walked down the street but it didn’t bother them. Donna was wearing sandals with her cut offs and tank top but what did she care if her feet got wet? She was having an excellent time.

“I love ice cream.” She replied.

“Cool.”

Cliff was too nervous to talk much as they walked so Donna picked up the slack.

“I'm kinda glad that I didn’t see Star Wars again…I need to expand my horizons. CJ says I should see more art films and get into Woody Allen. I don’t really like Woody Allen. I hate to say it aloud because I don’t want to seem unsophisticated, you know. I mean Annie Hall was funny, sad, and sweet, but I still don’t understand what the hype was about. Maybe I'm just a simple girl from Wisconsin.”

“There is nothing wrong with being a simple girl from Wisconsin.” Cliff replied as they walked into the ice cream shop. “CJ Cregg is all Manhattan Vogue and that’s fine, but you don’t have to be like her.”

“I know that.”

“I'm not trying to be difficult but I think one of the backlashes of feminism is that all these young women are attempting to be the same; they all want to be like Gloria Steinem. While she is fine as she is, every woman has a beauty and uniqueness. They are going to end up losing it if they're all the same. OK, they don’t all want to be housewives. They can't all rule the world either. All men do not.”

“You're against feminism?” Donna asked.

Red flag, red flag, he thought. Do not answer that Calley. It could make the difference between a goodnight kiss and a goodnight kick.

“We should not discuss politics on the first date.” He said. “I would rather know what your favorite book is. It would be a much more pleasant conversation.”

“Great Expectations.”

“I'm a big fan of Dickens.”

She smiled and he smiled back. At the counter, he asked if he could pick her ice cream…he knew a flavor she would really enjoy.

 

“So um, it would be fun to do this again?” Cliff asked.

They were sitting outside of the hotel, holding hands. The drizzle was gone and the moon out.

“I think that it would Cliff.”

He leaned and kissed her gently. It was sweet, soft, and Donna thought she would like to do it again and again. When Cliff pulled away, he caressed her face.

“I should probably head in.” he said. “I have to work the front desk in the morning.”

“Alright. I had a very good time tonight Cliff.”

“Me too.” He kissed her again, this time with more passion. He practically ran to the elevator and left his date floating on air.

“Hey Donna!”

She came falling back to Earth when she heard Josh’s voice.

“Oh hey.” She said.

“What are you doing in the lobby by yourself? Where have you been anyway? We’re drinking in Spencer’s…c’mon.”

“Who’s we?”

Donna was in no mood to watch him drool all over Amy. Did he even care that she spent all of fall semester sleeping with Chris Wick? She was sleeping with Josh’s roommate. Not that who she slept with made Amy a bad person but that seemed a bit too close to comfort for Donna’s liking.

“Um Sam, Tish, Larry, Ed, that peculiar redhead who works at the front desk…” Josh put his arm around Donna and she could smell the beer on his breath. “She only seems to drink Ginger ale with cherries. I don’t even know what to say about that. Toby and Nora are probably on their way down. C'mon.”

“Where is Amy?” she asked, letting him walk her into the lounge. It was still hopping; it was always hopping.

“She said she had a headache. I told her she was missing a good time.” He turned to his friends. “Look who I found.”

“Hey!” they all said in unison as the server returned with two pitchers of beer.

Donna sat with her friends and had a few drinks. She did not discuss her date with Cliff; now was not the time.

***

“I hate that. They put a commercial break in like every 25 minutes…that’s silly. The worse part is that they drop it in right at the best part.”

“It’s to keep you glued to your seat.” Toby replied.

“I know that.” Nora rolled from her stomach to her back, stretching her arms high over her head. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it. In fact, I think it’s ridiculous. How am I supposed to enjoy a movie that way?”

“Well I like the breaks?”

“Whatever for?” she turned her head on the pillow to look at him.

“It gives me time to kiss you.”

Nora smiled as Toby pulled her closer. His mouth tasted like pizza and beer. It was Wednesday night and the thunderstorm outside meant they were spending it watching The Haunting in Toby’s room. The five guys were sharing a suite, though Toby insisted on his own room and got it. Josh and Larry were in the other room while Sam and Ed called the almost comfortable pullout couch home. Nora stroked the top of his head, causing Toby to pull away.

“What's the matter?” she asked.

When she opened her eyes, Toby could see the passion there. The only light in the room was the television but it was clear. He could feel it too; the temperature had gone up at least ten degrees. The breeze coming through the open balcony door did nothing to cool the couple down.

“My hair, it’s um…”

“What?”

“Well um…”

“Black? Curly? What Toby?”

“I'm going bald. I hate to say it, as if the words will make even more of it fall out. It’s all the Thorsch’s fault. I love my mother’s family but this is entirely their fault.”

Nora laughed, killing his thoughts with more kisses. While the fact that most men were shallow did not surprise her, she did not take the time to think Toby would be. He was vain, and slightly egomaniacal, but never about his looks. He was vain in his brilliance; Nora found that sexy. She was sure she only found it sexy in him. That type of behavior from other boyfriends got them promptly dismissed. Of course, Toby was not yet her boyfriend. He would be.

“I could care less about your damn hair.” She mumbled between kisses.

“Yeah right.”

Her breath hitched in her throat as Toby ran his hand over her bare stomach. This was starting to get hot.

“Its hair Toby; I really don’t care. I mean that for real. I think you’re very handsome. You're quite sexy to me.”

“Well I think you're fucking amazing.”

“A ringing endorsement. C'mere.”

They went back to kissing, Toby groaning into her mouth when their bodies rubbed too close. He was ready to go…it was a weakness of his. Toby Ziegler found that since he was old enough to have one, erections were second nature to him. He didn’t want to freak Nora out, even though she seemed to be grinding harder against him.

“Oh God Nora, it is going to be hard to stop in a minute.”

“I'm not asking you to stop.”

She tugged on his tee shirt so Toby took it off. She ran her hands down his chest and then her lips. She liked the hair there and wanted to see more. Toby knew he would be alright with taking off more clothes, both his and hers. Especially hers. She wore a pretty green peasant blouse that brought out the green in her hazel eyes. 

As thunder rumbled across the night sky, Toby lifted it over her head. For just a moment she flushed at the exposure. She was also a bit embarrassed about her childish, white bra with pink flowers. She had gone this far before, but never beyond. Was it wrong to want a few assurances before she did?

“Toby…”

“We don’t have to go all the way Nora. I would never put that kind of pressure on you. I like you far too much ever to make you uncomfortable. I just…I really want to touch you. I'm desperate to feel you, and to taste you. Whenever you say stop, we’ll stop. I swear to that.”

“Just sex?”

“I don’t follow.”

“You just want sex Toby?”

“No.” he shook his head. “You don’t know how bad I want to make it work with us. I would have too much difficulty expressing it. I always manage to screw things up though, with you and everyone else. Ask around, you'll find out.”

“I don’t care about around. I really like you. Really, really like you.”

“I like you too.”

She cut the conversation with more kissing. When he touched her, Nora moaned. His hands were warm and soft. They were never urgent, and he was gentle but passionate in getting better acquainted with her body. Toby took her face in his hands, kissing it softly.

“I like you too Nora. I want to get better at showing you that, not just here and now. I also have something with me so…you know.”

“Yes.” Nora nodded. “Yes Toby.”

He knew what yes meant. He knew that when the sun rose they would be two different people. Toby had to do everything in his power not to screw this up. Maybe he needed to stop overanalyzing it and go with the flow. Nah, he needed to overanalyze it; perhaps make some lists and graphs. He just didn’t need to do that now. Right now, her mouth was slightly open and her eyes glazed over. That was all he needed to focus on.

“Are you sure?” he asked once more for clarity while Nora reached down to unzip his jeans. “I really want you to be sure.”

“This moment is perfect. If nothing else ever is, this moment is.”

No one ever called Toby perfect before, even indirectly. He would show her how perfect it could really be.

 

***

 

“God, the stars are beautiful. I think this might be the most perfect spot on the beach.”

John laid out a picnic dinner for them near some rocks on a secluded part of the beach. CJ had the perfect view of the night sky as he poured her another glass of champagne.

“There isn’t much more beautiful than you, Claudia Jean.” He kissed her neck. “Have some more champagne.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” she asked, a smile crossing her lips.

“Absolutely not. Do I seem like that type to you?”

CJ turned to study him. He was very preppy in his khakis and perfectly pressed blue shirt.

“Who are you, John Hoynes?”

“Who would you like me to be?”

“See, that’s what I mean. That is not the right answer. I want to know you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Tell me something about you. I'm not talking about what you think I want to hear.”

“I like kissing you.”

“John…” she laughed, sipping her champagne. “Tell me what you want to be when you grow up.”

“The President of the United States.”

“Seriously?”

“Mmm hmm, and I will be too. After law school, I intend to return to Fort Worth, help my father in the business, and forge my political career. I want to usher in the new millennium at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.”

“Please tell me you are not a Republican.”

“Oh no.” he chuckled, watching her finish the glass. “I am from a long line of progressives …in the vein of LBJ. Can I kiss you now?”

“I guess that would be alright.”

John pulled her tightly against him. His kisses almost overpowered her. CJ pushed him away gently, laughing a bit.

“Slow down buddy, we have time. You don’t have to be so eager.”

“I just really like you. I want to show you.”

“John…”

“Relax; just relax.”

His kisses were intense and he changed position over her on the picnic blanket. CJ felt herself falling back; everything moved in slow motion. Why did she feel woozy all of a sudden?

“John, John wait…I'm feeling a bit dizzy.”

She pushed on his chest. Well, she thought she was pushing on his chest but nothing was happening. CJ tried to lift her arms to stop him; they felt as heavy as he did on top of her.

“John, you need to stop. I really don’t feel well. I feel sick.”

“You'll feel just fine in a little while.” He murmured. “Don’t fight me; you don’t have to fight me. It’s going to be quite nice. I’ll be gentle; I promise.”

“Get off me!” she screamed in her mind but her voice barely came out in a whisper. He mangled her sundress, pushing the top down and the bottom up. Oh God, this was not happening to her. Had he put something in her drink or her food? CJ had champagne before but had never felt like this. He would not stop touching her. “Please don’t do this. Please, please don’t do this. John, stop! Stop it! I mean it…STOP!” she tried to kick her legs but felt paralyzed.

“Stop fighting.” He grabbed her wrists hard, twisting them in his grip. CJ whimpered in her mind but she was not sure if anything came out of her mouth.

“No! No! Stop it John; you're hurting me you bastard! Get off!”

She was not going to stop fighting. He had to be out of his mind if he thought she would. Except that her head was swimming and he was a damn strong guy. His knee was rough as he pushed her legs apart; she could not get her wrists out of his iron grip. He reached under her dress and tore her panties. The tears brimmed in CJ’s eyes. This could not be happening to her. What was she going to do? Dear God, let me black out. Let me black out before this son of a bitch rapes me.

“What the hell are you doing? Get off of her!”

CJ tried to cover her half-naked body as someone yanked John away. She also attempted to sit up but that failed.

“Who the hell are you?” John asked, anger flashing in his eyes.

The mask was gone and CJ finally saw what was underneath. She promptly threw up on herself and the blanket.

“You just stay away from her! C'mon CJ, lets get out of here.”

“Cliff Calley?” she asked weakly as he helped her stand. The barfing helped to clear things up just a little bit.

“We’re going back to the hotel.” He said. She tried to fix her dress as best she could while Cliff held her up. John pulled him away from her, nearly tearing Cliff’s arm out of his socket. The sudden movement caused CJ to stumble and then fall.

“You have some nerve kid. I am going to kick your little ass.”

Cliff did a kick that connected with John’s knee. Once he was in the sand, Cliff hit him square in the jaw.

“If you touch me, or her again, you are going to wish you didn’t. I have a brown belt in karate. CJ, lets go.”

He picked her up and they started running but CJ was dizzy and the sand made things difficult for her. About 25 feet up the beach, she threw up violently before bursting into tears. It made Cliff uncomfortable but he did his best to comfort her. He put his sweater around her to cover her ripped dress, which also had vomit on it. CJ had trouble pulling herself together so they sat down on a nearby rock.

“He was going to…if you would not have come…oh God I feel so sick.”

“I know. We should just get back to the hotel. He might be lurking and doesn’t like either one of us very much right now.”

CJ nodded slowly. She still felt very weak, her vision blurred and her limbs heavy. It was an effort but Cliff got them both back in one piece. Luckily, the lobby was relatively deserted. CJ didn’t see any of her friends around.

“I will walk you to your room, OK.” Cliff said. “You probably need to take a hot shower and get some sleep.”

“I can't go up there. I don’t want to face anyone who might still be awake. How could I have been so dumb? I'm the one who warns all the girls; I'm supposed to be the smart one. I almost became a walking statistic tonight. Oh my God, I don’t even have my shoes. Look at my dress, Cliff.” The tears came to the surface of her hushed voice.

“I think he slipped you a Mickey, CJ. This is not your fault.”

“I know that! That doesn’t mean I want to try to explain what happened on my date right now. I can't do it.”

“Alright. I will take you up to my suite.”

“You're staying in a suite?” CJ looked at him as they got onto the elevator. 

“Its not quite all mine.” 

Cliff pulled the key from his pocket, sliding it into the circle shaped hole above the 15th floor button. They were going to the secret floor. Cliff just hoped that Leo was either out or sound asleep…this could get him in a lot of trouble. He hadn't even brought Donna up there to impress her yet.

“I really owe you one Cliff Calley.” CJ said as he opened the door. “I seriously owe you.”

“No you don’t. I will sleep on the couch and you can take my room. Do you need some help? Your footing still looks a little precarious.”

“I think I will be OK. Please don’t tell anyone about what happened tonight. Please.”

“I would never do that. Goodnight CJ.”

“Goodnight.”

She went into his bedroom, closing the door. Cliff lay on the couch and covered his eyes with his hands. When he went out for an ice cream cone and a quiet walk that evening he never expected to see anything like that. His stomach turned as his mind flashed back to what he saw John doing to CJ. 

Shouldn’t they call the police? Shouldn’t he be arrested and put in jail? If not for what he attempted to do, at least for poisoning CJ so that he could. How did one get it in their mind to do something so disgusting? Cliff definitely had no idea. He hoped CJ was going to be alright. 

Behind the closed door of the bedroom, CJ undressed and took a hot shower. She still felt dizzy so she just wrapped up in Cliff’s robe, curling up on the bed. The tears came again and she accepted them for a little while, crying herself into a deep sleep. A part of her hoped when she woke the Mickey would leave her with little recollection. CJ had a feeling this would be a night she would never forget.

***

“Shit!”

“Dammit!”

Leo jumped, his coffee cup tumbling out of his hand and smashing on the linoleum floor of the kitchen. CJ clutched the bathrobe tighter around her, grabbing the rag on the counter. Crouching down beside him, she wiped up the liquid as Leo picked up the broken ceramic pieces.

“I thought I was alone.” She hardly spoke above a whisper.

“Ditto. While I never expected to see a woman emerging from Clifford’s room, I can say with certainty that I never expected it to be you. I thought he liked the other girl, what's her name?”

“Donna.” CJ replied. “And this has nothing to do with some summer romp, believe me.”

“Do you mind if I ask you what you are doing in my suite at nine o’clock on a Sunday morning?”

“I'm sorry Mr. McGarry, and I don’t want you to be angry with Cliff Calley because he saved my life last night. Now you're probably going to fire him.”

“This is the second time you have pleaded for his job.” Leo said. “Cliff is not going to be fired; he is a good kid. You have to stop calling me Mr. McGarry. My father was Mr. McGarry. Sit down CJ and we’ll have some breakfast if you want. I was going to make pancakes. Are you hungry?”

“Starving.” She managed a smile as she sat at the table.

“We will eat and talk a little. Do you want a cup of coffee?”

She nodded, noticing the pack of Marlboro Lights sitting on the table. She grabbed one and lit it. Oh God, the nicotine felt so good running through her veins. It had been about two days since she had a cigarette and she really needed this one. CJ only realized when it stopped that she had been trembling. Expecting to be alone, she now found herself sitting in Leo’s kitchen in a bathrobe. She was completely naked underneath.

“I feel underdressed.” She said, trying to pull the robe tighter around her. “I um…”

“If you don’t want to throw on whatever you were wearing last night, I have some tee shirts and shorts in my top drawer. I'm surprised Cliff didn’t leave anything for you.”

“He probably suspected that I would wake up and just bolt. I'm still a bit groggy though; coffee, food and cigarettes are just what I need right now.”

“What happened last night?” Leo asked, catching sight of the slightly discolored marks on her wrist.

“I would prefer if we never discussed that.” she saw him looking at her and quickly slid her arm under the table.

Leo studied her but CJ seemed entranced by the cigarette smoke. She watched it under hooded eyelids. He gripped the spatula in his hand as his jaw tightened.

“CJ? CJ, look at me, do you want to go to a hospital or something? Please look at me.”

She looked at him, upset that she would probably start to cry again. She shook her head as she pushed the sobs back down her throat. John Hoynes didn’t deserve anymore of her tears. CJ cleared her throat.

“No Leo. No, I'm alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “I'm fine, but I truly appreciate the gesture.”

“Alright. Well, I know you're uncomfortable and I don’t want you to feel that way with me. I will make you a cup of coffee while you change. My room is directly down the hall.”

“I’ll be right back.”

His bedroom was huge, decorated in rich browns, deep reds and smoky woods. The scent of him lingered in the air and though CJ thought she was crazy for doing it, she held the pillow to her face and inhaled. The man smelled magnificent. She closed the door before going over to the dresser. A pair of blue boxers were on top so she put them on. She left all of the tee shirts and took the one discarded at the bottom of the unmade bed. It was a University of Chicago Law School shirt. When she returned, Leo smiled at her.

“I didn’t know how you took your coffee so everything you need is on the table.”

“Cream with extra sugar.” CJ said, sitting down.

“I slept in that shirt.” he said.

“I figured. Why did you need to change to make pancakes?”

“I showered. Does it smell sweaty?”

Leo sat across from her. When he placed a plate of pancakes in front of her, she rewarded him with a dazzling smile.

“It smells like you actually.”

“That’s better than sweaty, I guess.” Leo replied.

“Slightly.”

“Glad to hear it.”

For a while, they ate and did not speak. CJ knew she needed to get back downstairs. If anyone was up at this hour, they would surely be worried about her. She would have to tell Nora what happened…it was not good to keep it all inside. She never wanted to tell anyone but Nora would be able to help. They always helped each other through the bad times.

“As soon as I'm finished I promise to get out of your hair.” CJ said. “You probably did not want company this morning.”

“I may not be a big fan of some company, but I find that I like yours.”

“These pancakes are truly delicious. I haven’t enjoyed them since my mom…my mom made the most amazing pancakes. I should probably go now. My friends could be worried; I don't want anyone to call the police. Do you mind if I wear your clothes back downstairs? I don’t even have any shoes. Dammit, those shoes were really expensive.”

“Did something bad happen to you last night? I don’t want to push you but I am quite concerned.”

“My date turned into a monster and Cliff Calley showed him his brown belt in karate. I think he put something in my drink Leo. I could not fight him off, though I certainly tried. Cliff let me stay here because I couldn’t face my girlfriends with their questions about how the date went. It was pretty scary; I don't want to think about what might have happened if Cliff never walked by. Still, I can't keep my mind from going there right now.”

“I'm so sorry.” Leo put his hand over hers on the tabletop. “That may seem small but it is sincere. Do you want me to beat the shit out of him?”

“Guys who wear nice suits like you should not engage in such boorish behavior.” She replied.

“You're right. Do you want me to call a guy…I know a guy. I mean it.”

CJ laughed and Leo was glad to hear it. He knew who it was and he would make sure that he paid for what he did to her.

“I better go.” She pushed the empty plate aside and stood from the table. She did not need Leo to feel sorry for her. He probably saw her even more like a little girl now.

“CJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to have dinner with me? This is probably an awful time to ask something like that and I apologize for that. It seems improbable that a girl like you would even want to go out with a guy like me, but I think if…”

“Stop.” She held up her hand. “I would love to have dinner. Don’t say another word, just nod.”

Leo did as she asked. His grin made her fall in love with his face. She almost reached out to touch him but he was too far away.

“Tomorrow night?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’ll take you somewhere away from here. Would that be alright?”

“Yes.” Now she was grinning. “’I’ll see you tomorrow.”

CJ left the suite, running into Cliff in the hallway.

“I was on break and wanted to come and check on you.” He said. “Are those Leo’s clothes? Why are you wearing Leo’s clothes? Oh God, he saw you. Oh God, you stole those?”

“Calm down before you have an aneurysm, Cliff Calley.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “We scared each other this morning but he made me breakfast and offered me something to wear. Don’t worry, he is not mad at you.” She leaned to kiss his cheek. “Thank you so much for last night.”

“Any real man would have done the same thing. Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah.” CJ nodded.

“Do you want me to go and finish the job I started on that creep?” he asked.

“Thanks Bruce Lee, but he’s not worth it. I’ll see you around.”

“OK.”

Cliff watched her get on the elevator and then went to make sure he still had a job.

***

Larry rushed into the Kirby Diner and over to the table where they sat. For a while, he just stood there staring at the two of them. Bonnie looked up at him, wanted to know what he was doing there. She was in the middle of dinner and this was very unbecoming. People were staring and Bonnie did not like people staring at her. He needed to explain himself or get the hell out of there.

“I called my father and told him that I was in love with an Afro-American woman. I did it Bonnie.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said that we would talk about it later. Apparently I had interrupted he and my mother’s bridge night.”

“I'm sure he was not listening.”

“But he was. He was because I demanded that he listen to me for a change. When I was sure that he was paying attention, I told him again. No more hiding, not for me anyway.”

“It’s a bit late.” She replied. “I am sure we can talk about this later Larry. I'm in the middle of something right now.”

Jeff had not interrupted but he was sitting across from Bonnie in the diner. Larry suddenly looked at him, at Bonnie, and back at Jeff. Then he looked around; customers were watching.

“Hey, I am sure you're a nice guy Jeff. You're handsome, smart, successful, and Afro-American; all the good stuff. But I am in love with her.” he pointed to Bonnie. “I really, truly am, and unless you really, truly are too I am asking you, man to man, to step aside.” His eyes found Bonnie’s again. “I should have said it years ago and if you walk away now it will be entirely my fault. 

“How could I not be in love with you? You're the girl who commissioned the hardest professor at Columbia University for a spot in a class freshman could not enter. He let you in. You’re the girl who likes to sing Barry Manilow, Aretha Franklin and Carly Simon. You're the girl who makes my heart flutter when you kiss the underside of my chin and touch the small of my back. You…”

“Larry…”

“You're the girl with the softest whisper, the prettiest laugh, and the smile that lifts my feet off the ground. Bonnie…”

“That’s enough.” Her voice was quiet but firm. “Please just get the hell out of here. Now.”

He nodded, looking drained from his confession. Another wave of energy washed over him bit Larry didn’t say anything. He just sighed. 

“I'm sorry Bonnie. I just…I had to say it. I'm going now.”

He finally went to the exit, running into Sam coming in as he was leaving. Sam, Tish, Donna, Cliff, Ed, and Margaret almost mowed him down.

“Hey,” Ed said. “We were looking for you man. Lets eat.”

“I have absolutely no appetite. I'm just going back to the hotel and…die probably.”

“Whoa,” Sam put his hand on Larry’s chest. “What’s going on? What just happened?”

“I’ll be alright. Seriously Sam.” Larry saw the skepticism on his face. “I just want to go back to the hotel and lie down. I will eat something later, I promise. See ya.”

Sam thought it was better to let him go on his way. In just a few seconds, he knew what was behind Larry’s melancholia. Bonnie was sitting in a booth with that guy who worked for Leo McGarry. She looked confused and slightly upset; he looked perturbed. She managed to return Sam’s weak wave with one of her own. He went to the booth that his friends had already taken over, smiling as he sat beside Tish. She smiled back.

“Is Larry going to be alright?” she asked.

“I don’t know. He needs to be alone right now but I will talk to him when we go back.”

“Is that Bonnie over there?” Ed asked.

“Yeah.”

“Ouch.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Larry missed the train.” Donna said in a matter of fact tone. “How long did he expect Bonnie to wait?”

“It was a delicate situation Donna.” Ed replied. “You know that.”

“What's so delicate about being afraid of your father?” She countered.

“Alright, cut it out.” Sam said, playing mediator. “Lets get some food; I'm starving. Tish, you want to share a mountain of fries?”

“That sounds delicious.” She leaned to whisper in his ear. “I think you might be bad for my thighs, Sam Seaborn.”

He blushed as everyone else looked over the menu.

***

“I got you now; you're not getting away.” Cliff said smiling.

“Its somewhere on my body. I bet you can't find it.”

“I will just have to tickle it out of you.”

Donna shouted with excitement as he tickled her. She tried to stop him, she was quite ticklish, but Cliff’s hands were lightning fast.

“Are you going to tell me Donnatella? Tell me and I will stop.”

“Never!”

“Oh, that’s it young lady.”

Soon the tickling evolved into touching. They were kissing when the door opened wide.

“What the…hey, stop that!”

“Josh!”

Donna sat up abruptly, causing Cliff to lose his balance and fall from the couch to the floor.

“Ow!” he rubbed his hip and buttocks.

“What the hell do you think you're doing here, front desk kid?” Josh demanded.

“None of your business. And my name is Cliff.”

“I don’t care what your name is buddy. Donna, what is he doing here?”

“What do you think?” she got up from the couch, giving Cliff a hand off the floor. “He’s absolutely right about it being none of your business. What are you doing in my room?”

“I came up to get Amy’s sweater and walk in on this…this…you don’t even know this dude.”

“Don’t tell me who I don’t know. You haven't paid a lick of attention to me all summer and now you want to give orders. Please.”

“I think I need to go.” Cliff said. He really liked Donna but he did not sign on to be in the middle of a triangle. A quadrilateral if you count the fact that Amy Gardner was downstairs waiting for her sweater.

“Stay.” Donna said.

“Oh no, he definitely needs to go. Scram, and keep your lips away from this girl.”

“Don’t tell me what to do. I am not one of your Columbia lackeys and you can't push me around. You go to hell Josh.”

“Josh, you are out of line…way out. Cliff…”

“I'm just going to go; that’s better. Goodnight, Donna.”

She sighed; knowing what could have been a great night was now over. Taking his hand, she put the Ford 1976 button in his palm.

“Goodnight.”

Cliff kissed her cheek. He and Josh glared at each other as Josh’s eyes followed him out of the room.

“You're hooking up with front desk guy now? What is that about?”

“You're a bastard Josh; an absolute bastard. The sad part is you really have no idea. All you ever think about is Josh Lyman. You’ve been hooked on Amy since we walked through the door and I let it go because if that makes you happy then that’s fine with me. But you think you have some right to interfere with someone else giving me attention.”

“You don’t need attention from that guy.” Josh reasoned.

“Just shut up. You don’t even know Cliff. He is nice, smart, and respectful. Even if he wasn’t, it has nothing to do with you. I am 19 years old and I left my father in Madison, Wisconsin. You stepped way over the line and that kind of behavior is unacceptable.”

“Donna…”

“Get your girlfriend’s sweater and get the hell out.”

She left to go after Cliff. It was doubtful she would find him, but she would try. Sighing, Josh went into the bedroom. He grabbed the blue sweater lying across the chair. He needed to get back before Amy started to wonder where he was. He would have to handle the Donna thing some other time.

***

“I am starting to like your suite better than my own.”

“I don’t doubt it. While it is one of our premiere rooms, there are six women currently living in it. I am sure it gets crowded.”

“Rarely are all of us there at the same time unless we’re getting ready to go out.” CJ picked up the lighter from the table and lit her cigarette. “I actually think I would like it if we spent a bit more time together. We were supposed to be doing that but fell right back into the same trap…men. What are you doing in there?”

“Making your coffee, as you asked. Cream and extra sugar if my memory serves.”

“Not too much sugar…I don’t want to be up all night, hyper and out of control.”

“Shall I sample it for you, your majesty?” Leo asked.

“No.” she chuckled. “Just hurry back.”

“Am I missing something?”

“Yes. I'm taking off my clothes.”

“Hey, I am an older man Claudia Jean. Don’t make my heart beat too fast now.”

CJ revealed her whole name to him on their second date a few nights before.

“I'm not Claudia Jean; I'm CJ.” she said.

“Why don’t you just go by Claudia instead?” he asked.

“CJ has just stuck with me since I was 12. I told my father and brothers I did not want to be little Claudia Jean anymore; I was becoming a woman. I think my brothers picked it because it sounded boyish and they knew it would tick me off. They were creeps like that sometimes.”

Leo came into the living room, placing the coffee cups on the table. As he sat down on the couch, she took a deep inhale of the cigarette and passed it to him. Leo did the same.

“Well I like Claudia Jean, if you don’t mind terribly. Some have accused me of being old fashioned. Claudia is good though; its very 80s.”

She laughed, taking the cigarette back.

“Well I’ll think about that. I am nothing if not a modern woman. Tell me more about you and Jed. Those stories made me laugh.”

“While I do love hearing your laugh, we have been on three dates now. I want to hear more about you.”

 

For date three, CJ and Leo went for a ride. It seemed simple enough, until Leo pulled up in front of the hotel in a 1967, candy apple red Ford Mustang convertible. CJ could hardly hide her excitement. She was a lover of cars and Leo grinned when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. He loved that she was so tall…it gave his lips perfect access to her neck and collarbone. All the better to plant soft kisses there.

“I like to ride fast and hard Leo.” She whispered.

“Get in; I’ll see what I can do.”

She cuddled close as he drove down semi-deserted roads outside of Fort Lauderdale. He was doing 75 and that turned CJ on. When he screeched to a halt, she kissed him passionately. The exercise left them both breathless.

“Let’s do that again.” she said.

“Yes ma'am.”

After their ride, he brought her back to his suite for a late dinner from room service. He was so respectable, so gentle, and almost shy. CJ wondered over most of the meal and the conversation if she was going to have to kiss him again. She would take her time and see what happened.

 

“What do you want to know about me?” she asked.

CJ cupped her coffee mug in both hands as she relaxed against the arm of the couch. She crossed her long legs and Leo felt like a pervert for staring. The pink sundress she wore was very pretty but quite short.

“Anything.” Leo slid closer to her on the couch, still maintaining a respectable distance. He never wanted her to think he was only after one thing. Oh God, he thought of that one thing…holy smoke. It was enough to make him break out in a sweat. “Tell me why politics is so fascinating to you.”

“I want to fight the good fight, Leo. Its not that I necessarily want to be in the two-party, vote on Capitol Hill type thing but I want to work for a political organization. Last year I worked part-time for the League of Women Voters. It was fantastic; I got college credit, a paycheck, and experience. I learned more than I thought I ever could in one place. I got a taste of what it could be like and I don’t want to go back.”

“But you're going to graduate school first?”

“Yes, I have early acceptance at Berkeley and Nora and I are going together. She will get a Masters in History. She is fascinated by historical political eras.”

“You're fascinating.” Leo said.

“Thank you.” She sipped her coffee. “I probably hear that in one form or another almost everyday. I'm not bragging because I think that when men say it they don’t mean it. Men don't mean a lot of what they say.”

“I mean it.” he smiled.

“I know. So, why don’t you kiss me?”

“CJ…”

“What? Are you afraid of me?” she put the coffee cup down and moved closer on the couch. “I don’t bite. I'm really a very nice woman.”

Leo cleared his throat. His arm circled around her waist without his consent. He sighed as she rested her forehead against his.

“I don’t know if I've ever wanted to do anything as much as I want to kiss you. I just think…”

She didn’t let him finish the sentence. It wasn’t rocket science, though it was definitely chemistry. CJ didn’t think there was anything wrong with two people following their feelings. How could that ever be wrong? Leo pulled away first, running his fingertip along her cheekbone.

“You are beautiful, and captivating…I can hardly believe that you are here with me. I just don’t know if it’s right tonight. I don’t want you to think that I would ever take advantage of you. I will never turn into a monster. I respect you, and like you too much to do that.”

“I know, Leo. This feels right to me and I know it feels right to you; I can feel the change in your heartbeat. I'm not a little girl, or a virgin, if you were concerned.”

“The latter does make me feel a bit better.” He seemed to relax.

She pulled him closer and kissed him again. They didn’t have to do anything tonight; it wasn’t mandatory. CJ wanted to be close to him though, if she could explain why she would. It wasn’t something she found words for yet. Her girlfriends asked every other minute and Toby was not happy that she decided to spend so much time with a man almost 20 years her senior, but none of that mattered to her. It didn’t even matter that they had only been going out for about two weeks. All that she thought about was the butterflies in her stomach, present from very first encounter in the lobby.

“Cliff might be home any minute.” Leo said, breaking free of the kiss. He didn’t go far…he couldn’t bear it. “The living room is not very private.”

“We could go to the bedroom. Calm down,” she laughed. “We can sit far apart, and talk.”

“We could sit close together and talk.” 

“I’d like that.”

His next kiss was soft. Leo stood from the couch and offered her his hand. CJ grabbed the pack of cigarettes, the lighter, and went with him.

***

Larry walked up the street with a thirty pack of beer. He saw Bonnie walking in his direction so he perked up. It had been over a week since his confession at Kirby’s and she was still avoiding him. He tried to pump information from everyone but her friends were mum and his friends didn't know anything. He finally stood his ground, been a man, and it was too late. It would have to go down as a life lesson. Larry would make sure it was one he never forgot.

“I was looking for you.” She said when they were face to face.

“Here I am…beer run. I should have picked scissors.”

“You always pick rock, Larry. I told you to stop being so predictable…those guys can read your face.”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“You guys drink cheap ass beer.”

“I'm of the philosophy that it gets you drunker.”

“I doubt that.”

“I think you're right, but its mind over matter when dealing with such things.”

Bonnie nodded. Not knowing how long or short the conversation was going to be, Larry put the case between his feet. He’d already walked four blocks with it. At least the sun was not beating down on his neck…the afternoon was rather overcast.

“I need to apologize to you Bonnie. For how I acted in Kirby’s especially, but for how I have acted for the past two years. You deserve much better than what I have given.”

“I have to take some of the blame for my acceptance of things I should not have. Larry, we’re both young; we have time to make up for dumb things we do. Did you really stand up to your father?”

“I told him exactly what I felt, about you and some other things. I don't know about standing up. My father isn’t exactly Spencer Tracy at the end of Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. Still, I don’t want to count him out before he has a chance to let it sink in. I spoke with my mother two days ago and she wants to meet you. She said that I never sounded as passionate about anything than I did when I told my father about you.”

“It was very brave of you. Some people spend their whole lives unable to tell the truth; even to themselves.”

“I love you Bonnie. You can change your hair and the way you dress if you want, but you can't change the color of your skin. And I meant what I said before…I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to be white and I don’t want you ever to say that again. You wouldn’t be Bonnie and I love Bonnie.”

“I love you too. Could we just…lets start over. I mean really start over, because for a long time this has been more about things we were doing wrong instead of right. If its going to work we are going to have to refocus.”

“Hi.” He held out his hand. “I'm Larry Reynolds and its really nice to meet you.”

“Bonnie Sutherland.” She shook his hand. 

“My friends and I are having beer in my room later. Do you wanna come up and hang out?”

“Yeah.”

Larry leaned over and picked up the beer. It seemed heavier than the first time but he could see the hotel from where they stood. He would make it there. They walked side by side.

“I read a book recently.” Larry said. “It was all about Harry Truman and the Manhattan Project.”

“Tell me about it.”

He looked at her, smiled, and just started talking. It was always so easy to let the words flow with her; he had almost missed out on the most important words of all.

***

“Hi.”

Donna came up to the front desk on Tuesday evening. Cliff was working the 4pm to 10pm shift. While the hotel was busy as usual, she was the only one at the front desk. She made sure to wait until Mrs. Landingham went home for the night. She was pleasant and Donna actually liked her very much. She just did not tolerate tomfoolery when employees were supposed to be working. She ran a very tight, efficient ship. Donna did not want to get in trouble; she definitely didn’t want Cliff to. He had enough reason never to want to see her again.

“Hey Donna.”

“I just um…I came to apologize for the other night.”

“Josh Lyman being an asshole really wasn’t your fault.”

“I don’t want you to hate him because he chose to show a bad side of himself.”

Still defending him, Cliff thought. If only he deserved someone like her caring so much. OK, so Cliff didn’t know Josh Lyman. From the way he acted the other night, Cliff didn’t think he wanted to. First impressions were everything and he failed miserably.

“No, Josh was an asshole because Josh is an asshole.”

“Well…sometimes. Cliff, we all have moments where we do not put our best foot forward and...” Donna sighed. “I shouldn’t even be defending him. That’s not why I came down here.”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with us.” Cliff said. “I'm sorry our night had to end so abruptly; I was having a lot of fun.”

“So was I.” Donna’s cheeks flushed a bit when she smiled. “You never found the button.”

“Believe me; I was looking as hard as I could.”

“Maybe next time we will have more time.”

“Yeah. Do you want to grab some lunch tomorrow? I've been working crazy hours these past few days because Wendy has been sick.”

“I thought maybe…” her voice trailed off.

“Absolutely never.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“I do.” Cliff nodded. “You don’t have to worry about that Donna. I don’t let the behavior of other people affect how I live my life. If I did, I would not be me.”

“OK. I do want to have lunch tomorrow. They have really great burgers down the beach at The Pit.”

“They do. That sounds good.”

“I better go; I should not be down here bothering you while you're working.”

“You never bother me. Lets meet at two here in the lobby.”

“Bring your party hat!”

Cliff smiled, nodding. She walked toward the elevator but he stopped her. When she turned, he waved her back over to the front desk.

“I want you to be my girlfriend. I wanted to ask the other night but things did not work out as planned. I know long distance relationships can be tricky…New York and Providence are far apart. I think you and I could make it work though. No one has ever made me feel like I feel with you, Donna. I don’t want that to end with summer vacation. You don’t have to say anything right now. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Alright.” Donna nodded. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Goodnight Cliff.”

“Goodnight.”

She looked around, saw no one paid them any mind, so she leaned across the counter and gave him a sweet kiss. He watched her walk away thinking that he knew what her answer would be when he saw her again. Cliff hoped he was right.

***

“I've been thinking about something.”

“Hmm?” he sprinkled kisses across the nape of her neck and shoulder blade. “What are you thinking about?”

“Is it raining?”

CJ turned from the spoon position she had been laying in with Leo, onto her back. She looked up at the large skylight above Leo’s bed. Sure enough, pouring rain slid down the glass surface.

“You know how August can be in Florida. I bet by the afternoon we won't know it ever rained.”

“I wouldn’t mind if it rained all day…it is the perfect excuse to stay in bed.”

“Is that what you are thinking about?” Leo asked.

“What?” CJ turned in his arms. Leo grinned as she ran her fingers through his thinning sandy hair. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Tell me.” his hands moved across her back, underneath her tank top and touched the luscious bare skin of her back. “What's on your mind, Claudia Jean?”

“I just remembered that um, I don’t know where you live in the real world. I'm sharing your bed and I don’t even know where you live. We need to change that.”

Leo loved the sound of sharing a bed. It was all they were doing in the big, luxurious room. He was old-fashioned and though they had definitely engaged in what CJ described to her friends as ‘hooking up’, it had yet to go past a certain point. He had not even seen CJ topless, though it was not because Leo didn’t want to. Actually he was finding it more difficult to keep his carnal urges in check the more time they spent together. 

CJ was smart, beautiful, flirty, and feminine…she also seemed to want him too. That was the hardest thing for Leo to wrap his mind around. Even though she invited him to lunch first, and she readily accepted his dinner invitation. How could she possibly want him as much as he wanted her?

“If I tell you then you might freak out.”

“Oh now you have to. That sounds too interesting for me to turn down. C’mon Leopold, I promise not to freak out. Cross my heart.” CJ did it. “Tell me.”

“Well, I spend about 60% of my time in Manhattan. The rest of it is split between my suite in Washington, DC and traveling for work.”

“You live in Manhattan?”

“Most of the time. I have a condo on the Upper West Side…I retained it in my divorce settlement.”

She laughed, caressing his face.

“Small world…that’s what my father would say.”

“I know how seriously you take your education, and I respect that. I also know how much work you have to do, but I was hoping that we could spend time together even after the summer ends. I've done flings before CJ; I don’t want to do a fling with you. I find that I want to see a lot more of you, but I don’t know if that’s appropriate behavior.”

“I think you and I will decide what's appropriate.” She replied. “We will be the only ones who make rules or decisions regarding this relationship. We will decide if it will even be a relationship.”

“How old are you? I've been afraid to ask until now.”

“Why?”

“Because you're a college senior, and I feel like a very dirty old man.”

“Aw.” CJ laughed a bit, caressing his face. “Don’t be silly. You are too much of a gentleman for me ever to see you that way. And again, I don’t give a damn how other people see you.”

“How old are you?” Leo repeated.

“You first, Mr. McGarry.”

“I turned 40 on July 26th.”

“What!” she hit his chest and moved out of his arms.

“OW! What?”

“You turned 40 last month. Why didn’t you tell me? I mean, 40 is a big birthday, it's a milestone. We could have had a wonderful celebration.”

“I don’t really care for birthdays. I don’t dislike them or anything but I just never thought about it. I'm sorry.”

“I didn’t even get to sing Happy Birthday to you or buy you a nice little gift. I love birthdays.”

“I am sorry. I think you singing Happy Birthday would have been quite nice actually. I really missed out because its been a lot of years since anyone has done that.”

“I think you're placating me.” CJ crossed her arms.

“You should know by now I would never.” Leo sat up and put his arms around him. “Claudia Jean…”

“What?”

“Don’t be angry with me.” he kissed her neck.

“I'm not, I guess.”

“Really?”

“I'm just going to have to make sure 41 is something special. I am trying to tell you that I throw a hell of a party.”

“What if you don’t even like me anymore by the time I turn 41?”

“I'm always going to like you Leopold.”

She threw him down on the bed and kissed all over his face. Leo laughed, letting her straddle him.

“That’s some kind of promise.” he said. “Once you get to know me better you will see that my glitter fades.”

“Your self-deprecation is adorable Leo, really it is. Even if we’re not romantically involved, it doesn’t take a genius to see that you are a special man. I like you and when I like someone I do nice things for them.”

“I like you too. I want to do nice things for you.”

“Really?”

“Really, really, really.”

“Good. How about right now?”

“What?”

CJ lifted the tank top over her head; Leo was speechless. He couldn’t even have stopped her. She had the most adorable little breasts; with a smattering of freckles he’d seen when she wore her bikini top. Her nipples were rock hard.

“I want to have sex…now. I don’t care if it sounds vulgar; I don’t want to wait anymore. Well, I do care if it sounds vulgar because I don’t want it to be vulgar. I want it to be beautiful.”

“I want you too CJ, so damn much I can't even see straight…”

“But?”

“Uh…”

“What's the matter, Leo? I know its not an attraction issue. Is it an attraction issue?”

“My God, no.” he caressed her face. He wanted to wipe away the worry he saw there. He could probably never find enough words to tell her how attractive she was to him. “I am growing more fond of you than I think I should. Just in the last five minutes, its grown leaps and bounds.”

“I’m having a hard time finding any fault with that.” she leaned down, teasing his lips before kissing him.

“Mmm, any reason I could come up with would sound stupid.”

“Then shut up.” CJ unbuttoned his pajama top and spread it open. Leo moaned softly as she stroked his stomach.

“Do we need…?” he could barely get the words out. Who would believe a forty-year-old man was suddenly as nervous as a teenage boy.

“I'm on birth control. Are you clean; God that sounds so horrible but I have to ask.”

“Yes.” He nodded. “I haven’t been with anyone for a long time.”

“OK.”

Leo wasn’t going to fight it anymore; he didn’t think there was any reason to. Who knew if this would last forever? He was not even sure it would make it pass the changes in season. Something in him told them it was special. It was something he would never forget and needed to make the most of. 

So much of his life since his wife left him had been about work, money, and success. Yes, he had money and was well known. What did it all mean at the end of the day? He was sleeping alone and no one was singing Happy Birthday to him. Now he was laughing as he attempted to get CJ’s panties down her long ass legs. The woman had a set of legs that he dreamed about.

“Mmm CJ, that’s fantastic. Oh God baby, don’t stop.”

She worked her hand under the cover until Leo thought he would explode. When she was sure he was ready, the fun really began. A couple of weeks into forty already beat a whole year of thirty-nine. This was just the icing on the cake of everything with CJ. When he finally exhausted himself with his second climax, and her third, she lay breathless in his arms.

“That was…oh my God.”

“Mmm, you were wonderful.” CJ whispered, kissing him softly.

“I had some help. It was worth the wait.”

“Was it?”

“Ohhh yes.” Leo laughed. “You are very special and I can hardly fathom being here with you.”

“Maybe you should start trying. I am not perfect Leo, just as you aren’t. That doesn’t mean we can't make something work. Let’s stop thinking so far into the future and take it one step at a time. By the way, I’ll be 21 in November.”

“Oh dear God, what have I gotten myself into? I don’t want to float too high off the ground, Claudia Jean.”

“We’ll go together.” She slid her hand in his and Leo kissed it. They fell asleep holding hands and each other.

***

 

“Josh?”

“Hmm?” he sat up from his slightly slumped over position on the glider, saw Nora, and smiled. “Hey!”

“Are you drunk?”

“Mmm…little bit.”

“Its kinda late. Do you want to go in and get some sleep?”

“No.” he shook his head, realized it was a bad idea and stopped. “Are you sleeping at our place?”

“Actually, I was heading back to my own. I paid a pretty penny for that bed; I would like to sleep in it.”

“Wanna sit down and talk for a few minutes?” he asked.

He looked at her with those beautiful, sad brown eyes. Nora always liked Josh. It was somewhat hard not to, even when you really tried. She knew he used his New England air of superiority to cover his fears and insecurities. She had grown up with many boys like him. 

It was not easy to get to the center of him but they had a few deep conversations in the past. Josh was not good with his liquor and tended to babble while intoxicated. Nora knew that he lost his sister at a young age to tragic circumstances and still blamed himself. He sometimes felt that he would never be able to live up to his parents’ expectations for two children now that they only had one. He was all they had left…he had to carry on the Lyman tradition of success.

Nora understood his concerns. She too lost a sibling and knew what it was like constantly attempting to make her parents proud. She met the Lymans though; they were nothing like the Madisons. It was just recently that she realized that she had to live for herself too. It was her life and in the end, the only person who really had to be proud of it was her. Old habits definitely died hard though. Sometimes they didn’t die at all.

She sat down beside Josh; taking the half-empty beer bottle from his hand…he didn’t need anymore of that.

“What's happening?” she asked.

“I am giving up on women. I mean it, officially this time. I am going to devote my life to celibacy and service to my country.”

“Um...”

“Amy is really dating John Tandy; Toby was right. She is dating that chump and actually thinking about moving in with him after graduation. He is a Wolf in sheep’s clothing Nora.”

“That is for Amy to figure out. She is a smart woman.”

“Then why can't she see…” he stopped. “Donna hates me.”

“She does not hate you, though I heard about the stunt you pulled. What were you thinking?”

“I don't know.” Josh shrugged then sighed. “Seeing Donna hooking up with that guy really threw me for a loop. She’s…she’s just…”

“Josh, are you in love with Donna?”

“What?”

He looked at Nora though he could not see her very well. He took a deep breath and licked his dry lips.

“I'm not in love with Donna. I am not in love with Donna!”

“Stop talking so loud.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to wake the whole hotel? So, you're not in love with Donna. That is good news.”

“There would be nothing wrong with being in love with Donna. She is a wonderful girl, and she would never break my heart. I know she wouldn’t. You think I might be in love with her?”

“Absolutely not, and do not try to convince yourself that you are. I don't know what you two have but it is not that. She would do anything for you, and vice-versa, but I think she coddles you too much.”

“She might. I just…no one takes care of me like she does. I don’t need…I don’t know what I need.”

“You need sleep, and a couple of days without alcohol. A little clarity will set you straight.”

“I really thought I had it all figured out, you know. I really thought Amy was the one.”

“She still might be. But Josh, its crazy to think you have it all figured out and you're 21 years old. Just pull back and stop drinking.”

Josh was miffed. Everyone seemed to have found love on summer vacation. Toby and Nora, Larry and Bonnie, Sam and Tish…hell CJ was having a whirlwind affair with one of the richest and most powerful men in the country and she wasn’t even trying to find love. Meanwhile, he drank cheap beer and faced another rejection. There had to be something better than this. Nora was right, he needed some clarity.

“I need to go to bed.” Josh stood and managed to stay steady.

“That’s a good idea. Go for a nice, long swim tomorrow. That always makes me feel better.”

“Yeah. Goodnight Nora; thanks for always listening.”

“Sleep tight.”

She watched him go inside and then went to her own room. It surprised her to see CJ asleep in bed but it was not a bothersome development. It looked like they all wanted their own beds tonight.

***

“What are you doing all the way down here by yourself?” Toby asked, approaching CJ cautiously. “I brought you a hotdog and a Coke.”

“Thanks.” She took it. “I just wanted to dip my feet in the ocean one last time.”

“Something heavy seems to be on your mind.”

“It was that kind of summer, Tobus. The beach has good and bad memories that it carries away on its waves.”

“What kind of bad memories?”

“I was just…”

“Something happened with John Hoynes, didn’t it?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

Toby knew CJ. He could see her pulling in parts of herself, closing and locking them. It didn’t matter if it was dark; the light and the fire up the beach with the rest of their friends.

“Because you went from seeing him pretty regular to avoiding him. Did he do something to you, CJ? I saw the marks on your wrists. Would you tell me if he did?”

“Why? So you can go to jail instead of law school? It was…there is no need to rehash it. Leo already threatened to have him harmed and I told him it was not worth it. I am telling you the same thing.”

“What did he do to you?”

“Stop it, please. He didn’t hurt me, at least not as he might have wanted to.”

“Jesus.”

She could see the anger in his eyes, in his stance, and she turned away from it. That had been a dark moment in what was otherwise a wonderful summer. CJ would try to take a lesson away from it, as she did all of her dark moments. She would also try to stop having nightmares about it.

“The sun is setting on our childhoods.” She said, looking out at the ocean. It was dark and calm tonight; stars twinkled over it like a million fireflies.

“Some of us haven’t had childhoods for a long time. I realized something the other night.”

“What's that?”

“All of us, we seem to be missing something that this friendship fills.”

“We are a ragtag group Tobus.”

“Destined for greatness, some would say. The future of this great country of ours.”

“You think too much even on summer vacation.” CJ replied.

“It’s a fault. I love Nora, CJ.”

“I know.”

“She doesn’t know, well I haven't told her. I don’t want to jinx it.”

“Don't wait too long…its not fair.”

“Yeah. C’mon, people were starting to wonder if you were OK. They sent me to get you.”

“I'm OK.” she reached out for his hand and Toby squeezed it. “Leo lives in New York.”

“One day you are going to have to sit me down and tell me what that’s about.”

“What what’s about?”

“Leo McGarry.”

“When I figure it out, I will. I did not come down here to fall in love, I know that for sure. Who knows what will really come of it but we want to try it. No doubt, his friends will have improper names for me. Maybe my friends will too.”

“Your friends will stand by you no matter what. We love you to pieces. C’mon.”

She nodded, and they walked back up the beach together, holding hands.

“You think we will do this next summer?” CJ asked.

“I don't know. I think its time for something else. Josh and Sam are trying to get internships on Capitol Hill, and I am sick of serving drinks to assholes. Joe Murphy said he might be able to get me a summer position at the Times if I want it.”

“Toby that would be great. I guess this was the last hurrah, huh?”

“It was a good way to finish it off. Fun, sun, love, sex, all that stuff college kids have in abundance. I doubt though this will be the last time we are all together.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in signs and all that hogwash.”

“I don’t. That doesn’t mean I'm not allowed to have a feeling about something.”

“Welcome back.” Nora smiled as they approached the party. “CJ, are you alright?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Toby gave me his wiener and I feel much better now.”

Josh snickered, putting his arm around CJ. She smiled.

“Am I the only one who doesn’t want this to come to an end?” he asked.

“Just because summer does doesn’t mean this will.” Bonnie said. “Some things are worth holding onto.”

Larry squeezed her hand and she leaned closer to him.

“Well put.” Sam replied. “A toast; to friendship, through thick and thin. To good people, good times, and good beer. To us; and the future.”

“To us.” they said in unison.

***


End file.
